Mother-in-law can’t get word in to DIL

Dear Amy: I have a wonderful daughter-in-law.

She is a great match for my son and a great mom to their daughter.

We all have faults, and I accept that.

She’s a talker. She doesn’t know how to have a conversation. She is wonderful about keeping me in the loop, but she calls several times a week and talks for 45 minutes to an hour each time.

I can hardly get a word in, and when I do try to tell her something, I can tell she is just waiting for me to finish so she can talk again.

Additionally, most of her conversation consists of complaints about my son.

I have asked her not to do this, but her response is, “You know him and so you understand.”

When she is with my son, she doesn’t dominate the conversation as much.

How can I approach this without hurting her feelings?

She has a big heart and I would never want to damage our relationship. — Tired Ears

Dear Tired: Realistically you will not be able to change your daughter-in-law’s overall behavior, but you should establish some healthy boundaries.

The one aspect of this that you should shut down thoroughly is her complaining about your son.

I take it as a given that she is venting, and is not seeking any feedback, advice or suggested solutions from you.

When this starts, you should tell her, “I’ve asked you before, and you don’t seem to have heard me. You know I’m very fond of you. But I simply CANNOT handle venting about my son. It is affecting the way I feel about both of you. “Will you respect this?”

And yes. Otherwise, only talk to her when you have the energy for a lengthy update. Let her leave a message and you can call her back.