Mom puts the cart before the carrot

Dear Amy: My daughter is in her 30s. Her boyfriend has decided to be totally vegan. She has decided to be vegan, too.

At some point they may have children. I would like advice about whether being vegan is good for children in utero.

Is it healthy and advisable?

I understand the benefits of a plant-based diet and the impact on saving the planet, but still I worry about an entire diet and lifestyle approach that the kids must follow (with no choice) because their parents believe in it.

My approach will probably be that if you would like me to feed the kids something, let me know in advance. — Concerned Mom

Dear Concerned: You really are putting the cart before the carrot, here. As a relationship adviser, my first bit of feedback is that you don’t seem to really believe in their ability to use discernment to make good choices down the road.

(Also note: They are dating, no one is pregnant, and no one has asked you for your opinion.)

I shared your question with Kathleen Rasmussen, professor of maternal and child nutrition at Cornell University, who responded: “It is possible to create a vegan diet that is nutritionally adequate for a pregnant woman and a growing child, but it requires thoughtfulness.

“For children, the concerns are having an adequate caloric intake as well as sufficient high-quality protein and key several micronutrients. These can be provided with a careful selection of appropriate foods.

“Children learn to love what their parents eat and, if shown, how to navigate social situations related to eating.”

I have two very young vegan family members who have shown an amazing ability to identify and discern their food choices.