Faux ‘wedding’ is a real gamble

Dear Amy: My oldest daughter (age 26) is engaged to be “married.” After postponing the “wedding” due to COVID, they have picked a new date.

In a casual conversation with my other daughter (age 24), I learned that the prospective bride and groom do not actually plan on getting legally married. They have found someone who has agreed to officiate, but no marriage license will be obtained.

My husband and I met with our daughter. She was vague about her reasons, leaving us feeling that this is not her idea.

He is wealthy for someone his age and makes his money through online gambling.

We encouraged her to think about beneficiary issues,

Social Security standing, and next of kin issues.

She asked if I would want to help check out caterers.

I asked her if it was a wedding or just a party. She indicated she didn’t understand why that mattered.

Since I don’t support this faux wedding, and have no intention of keeping up the charade, I asked for the return of the money I had given to help with the wedding, until there is a real wedding.

She would send me a check, and all conversation stopped. Am I missing something? — M, in Virginia

Dear M: You seem to be missing the entire “downside” of being legally married to a professional gambler.

Depending on where they live, your daughter could be on the hook for some of the debt.

There are also legal issues regarding his taxable income.

It is wisest for your daughter to be legally tied to him?

Regardless of whether they legally marry, you might urge her to plan for the downside and get a prenup.

You might be relieved that this marriage isn’t quite legal.