Calling the banning of books a ‘hoax’ is, itself, a hoax

Somebody hasn’t been reading the fine print. Or the very large headlines.

How else to explain Gov. Ron DeSantis’ recent press release raving that Florida school book bans are a hoax?

No books in Florida schools are being banned, according to the governor. If books are being banned, it is because they contain deviant sex acts. Anyone telling you otherwise is just trying to keep a good man from an oval office.

Has DeSantis not seen the pictures of emptied classroom shelves? Did no one google

PEN America’s list of banned and targeted books? Did he not read the sloppy legislation that he championed, signed, and is now weaving into Iowa stump speeches?

Would he more clearly see the truth if we inserted the banned book titles into the Fox News teleprompter for one of his near-daily softball interviews?

The list of books targeted or banned has swollen to thousands as some school districts preemptively pull them until they can be formally reviewed.

Given the governor’s enthusiasm for getting rid of school board members (Broward), the Department of Education’s willingness to investigate school superintendents (Leon), and Moms for Liberty’s efforts to get educators who refuse to pull books arrested (Indian River) the skittishness seems warranted.

The piece of book-banning that finally seems to have caught Twitter’s interest, though, and the concern of DeSantis’ political handlers, is a biography of Roberto Clemente.

The governor’s press release scornfully asks: Was it really banned?

His press release does not answer his own question.

Allow us: Yes, a biography of Roberto Clemente really was kept from Duval County School District students for several months.

So were biographies of Hank Aaron, Jackie Robinson and Jim Thorpe.

Look, I still recall the horror of seeing an Anne Rice novel in the hands of my then 8-yearold son. And all parents — not just those close enough to the governor to put a bullhorn in his ear — should have a say in their child’s education.

But that is not what is happening here.

Keeping Messrs. Clemente, Aaron, Robinson and Thorpe in mind, see if you can spot the pattern.

“The Hate U Give,” a story about a police shooting involving a Black teen, has either been banned or targeted across Florida; one challenger noted that it could “polarize race relations” while “shedding light” on Black Lives Matter.

A book by Jayson Reynolds was targeted for review; Reynolds “is very controversial,” warned the person demanding the book be banned. He is not. He is an acclaimed author. He was the Library of Congress’ 2020-22 national ambassador for young people’s literature. He is also Black. He writes about Black children.

In the previous school year, almost all of 90 children’s picture books banned or pulled for review were about a Black, Asian, Hispanic, Native American, Middle Eastern, Jewish, Muslim or Buddhist child or family. Or their pets.

Decisions to restrict or ban are not always tied to race, ethnicity and religion. Sometimes, they are tied to dumb.

“Looking for Alaska,” a novel of teens grappling with mental health, was “very depressing,” noted the person demanding that it be removed in Martin County. A Clay County man says he has a list of more than 3,000 books that need to be taken from schools; the newsletter Popular Information reported he cited “damaged souls” as a reason to ban them.

Then there are the 20 Jodi Picoult novels removed from Martin County schools last month. “These are adult romance novels,” wrote the person demanding their removal.

This came as a surprise to Picoult, who does not write romance novels. “Most of the books pulled do not even have a single kiss in them,” she told the Washington Post.

I suppose we should thank the book-banning brigade for a pending increase in readership in one age group. Once made aware of books deep-sixed because they may include the word sex, or thoughts of sex, or something that might accidentally remind someone of the existence of sex, the average 13-year-old is going to make it their life’s work to track down that piece of forbidden fruit.

But to a third-grader whose teachers are scrambling to thin or empty classroom bookshelves, the message is entirely different: Words are dangerous. Books scare grownups.

And if you or your family are Black, brown, Jewish? If you have two daddies? If the state has turned its iron will to erasing your world?

Safer to be unheard. Unseen. Where is the DeSantis press release to fix that?