When an unpopular food becomes popular, prices soar

I was in the grocery store minding my own business when I saw the sign that changed my life forever.

The sign said: “Chicken tenders, $5.50.”

All at once, everything I knew to be true about the world was revealed to be a falsehood. Everything I ever held dear about my fellow man came crashing down at my feet. Every hope I ever held out for the furtherance of civilization died a sudden, painful death, obliterated by those three words. By those two words and one price. Chicken tenders, $5.50. I’m not talking about one of those national sort-of organic food stores that promises “a transcendent experience” (seriously—you can look it up). You expect those places to be ludicrously expensive. I’m talking about an ordinary grocery store with ordinary groceries and, apparently, extraordinary chicken tenders.

A definition might be helpful. What restaurants and butchers call chicken tenders are really the chicken’s pectoral muscle. It’s sort of a flap that is attached to the breast, and it contains a tendon that can be difficult to chew. Basically, it is what butchers used to throw out with the bones, or maybe use with the bones to make a stock.

But then an evil genius had one of the most brilliant marketing ideas ever: He decided to call it a chicken tender. The unspoken implication was that it was the chicken’s tenderloin, and thus the most tender part of the bird.

In cows, pigs and certain other animals, the tenderloin is a long strip of muscle located directly underneath the spine. It is tender because it is rarely used. But only animals that have four legs (or two legs and two arms) have these muscles.

Chickens famously do not have four legs. Therefore, they do not have tenderloins.

Chicken tenders started to become popular several years ago when restaurants, trying to figure out a use for this otherwise unused piece of meat, starting frying them and calling them chicken fingers.

Chickens famously do not have fingers, either. But it was a catchy name and families came to love the easily held, easily dipped pieces of meat.

One of the next most expensive cuts, incidentally, is the wing, for which that same store has the audacity to charge $2.99 per pound.

Throughout history, the wing was an afterthought. With far more bone than meat, it was the cheapest and least popular part of the chicken. Then the nation discovered buffalo wings, and suddenly the popularity and price of wings shot up as well.

This same dramatic increase in price happened not that terribly long ago with skirt steak and flank steak. Skirt and flank steaks are notoriously tough; they’re difficult to cut and difficult to chew. No one wanted them, so they were cheap.

But then the rest of the country discovered what Texans already knew about, fajitas. The beauty of fajitas is that, when made right, they begin with skirt steak or flank that has been marinated overnight. What once was tough and chewy becomes tender and sublime. Sure enough, the price of skirt and flank steaks skyrocketed.

Clearly, what we are seeing here is a trend. A cut of meat is inexpensive because it is considered undesirable. Chefs and cooks look for a way to use this cheap meat and hit upon a recipe that turns out to be delicious. It naturally becomes popular, driving up the price of the meat.

What is next? Chicken beaks? Beef ears? Lamb knees? Don’t laugh. Have you checked out the price of fish cheeks lately?