OH, THE HORROR
For a guilty pleasure, check out romance comics of a bygone era
In the 1940s and ’50s, many preachers, parents and politicians railed against comic books as the cause of juvenile delinquency, tossing around phrases like “seduction of the innocent” and “horror in the nursery.” Thanks to a new book, I finally agree with them. I have now read comic book stories that are more horrible than any horror comics, more disturbing than any adventure stories.
The source of this plague? Romance comics.
Created (more or less) by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby with “Young Romance” #1 (1947), romance comics were aimed at girls, but more than a few boys bought them, too. (Cynics suggest one reason boys bought romance comics was for the so-called “lingerie shots,” in which young women were depicted bathing, dressing, undressing, etc., while tearfully fretting over their latest romantic obstacle. That was pretty racy in the ’40s and ’50s, I suppose.) “Young Romance” #1 sold an astounding 92 percent of its press run, and romance comics were some of the best-selling comics in America in the early 1950s.
Some of these romance comics were pretty good, especially those at Crestwood’s Prize Publications and St. John Publishing, depicting more or less realistic problems, and strong-minded women with the agency to solve them. But a great many of them were astonishingly bad, with some of the stupidest women (and men) ever depicted in fiction. Worse, in many of them the moral of the story was for the woman to give up all independence and simply do what she’s told by a man. In mindless servitude, the story fairly shouts, lies happiness.
Worse still are the ones that attempted real-world romantic complications— like insanity or drug addiction—and come off so cartoonish that it’s clear the writers had no clear understanding of those issues. Or stories where clueless, middle-aged, male writers would attempt to depict “rock and roll” teens of the 1950s, hippies of the ’60s and women’s libbers of the ’70s. These stories are so dehumanizing, I submit, that they represent the true horror comics of their times.
As evidence, I need only present “Weird Love Vol. 1” (IDW, $29.99), collected by Clizia Gussoni and Craig Yoe. Yoe has made a career out of reprinting public domain comics, mostly horror books, but with “Weird Love” he has hit the motherlode.
Subtitled “You Know You Want It!” the book offers such non-universal tales as “I Fell for a Commie!” “Love of a Lunatic!” “You Also Snore, Darling!” and “Yes, I Was an Escort Girl!” Laughably bad stories address free love with “Love, Honor and Swing, Baby!” or ask whether a girl can be “Too Fat for Love!” Can love survive if your girl is your boss and whispers those three little words, “You’re Fired, Darling!”? And “Weep, Clown, Weep!” addresses the classic dilemma of a girl disapproving of her beau’s profession, which in this case involves rubber noses and floppy shoes.
Where else are you going to read not one, but two stories in which the solution to a romantic problem is for the boy to spank the girl until she stops being so uppity? And where else are you going to find dialogue like:
“I must tolerate Tom’s political opinions … even though I can’t accept them! My love for him is greater than anything on earth. … I can’t risk losing him!”
“He’s unbelievable … absolutely wild! But I’ll tame him …when I’m through he’ll be absolutely domesticated!”
“Whew! (These drinks) are strong! But I’ll have to get used to it if I’m going out with sophisticated people!”
“Oh, why couldn’t we have met under different circumstances? I know he just thinks I’m a good-time girl!”
“These bikes are keen—I’m having a swell time!”
American parents should be aware of the threats these stories present to our young girls (and lingerie-loving boys)! Every home should have a copy of “Weird Love.” Not only are its lessons invaluable for today’s complicated world, but let’s face facts: You know you want it.