How to help a friend in need

Q: Your friend is broke but too proud to ask for money. How can you help in a respectful way?

If you know your friend is broke because he or she has mentioned the situation to you, then it provides a window to start a dialogue and assess what your friend means by “broke.” Some people may use this term when they are squeezed for cash in a paycheck-to-paycheck cycle, while others are legitimately in need of a financial intervention because they are at risk of foreclosure, repossession of a car or even homelessness.

Should the latter be the case, you can tactfully refer your friend to resources, like ModestNeeds.org or local charitable organizations.

If your friend is too proud to do the asking, maybe you can instead.

You could start a crowdfunding campaign using sites like GoFundMe and give all the proceeds raised to your friend in need. Just be sure you get permission before sharing any intimate details of your friend’s financial life that can be Googled and shared on social media.

Finally, you may be the answer. Just keep in mind: You should never give a loan to a loved one. Instead, mentally earmark that money as a gift. Maybe your friend pays you back, but be prepared to never see that money again to avoid letting it have an impact your relationship.— Erin Lowry, millennial personal finance expert and author of “Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping by and Get Your Financial Life Together”

When a friend is going through a tough time, volunteer. While it may send the wrong signal to give your friend money, it never hurts to give your time. Why not offer to help move or watch the kids while he or she heads out for a job interview? Depending on your relationship, you may also find ways to relieve the budget crunch that don’t involve actually giving cash, like mailing a gift card with an encouraging note, having your friend over for a home-cooked meal or picking up the tab at lunch. In any case, think of it as a gift, not a loan.

And of course, offer a listening ear. Sometimes when difficulties strike, people don’t know what to say, so they don’t say anything. Being open and generous with your friendship and your time sends someone you care about the powerful message “You are not alone in this.”—Jenne Myers, CEO, Chicago Cares, a nonprofit volunteer service organization