Wife gives marriage one more year
Dear Abby: My husband has less and less interest in me. It started with the last presidential election. Since then, I have cut way back on politics because he doesn’t want to hear any of it. Being an activist on several fronts, including politics and other areas, this is a big, emotional part of who I am. I get so upset by his silences that I stop talking to him completely.
I’m spent from feeling so lonely, so unworthy of love, helpless, hopeless and powerless. I can’t take this much longer. He says he wants to be with me, and he has just started private therapy. I, too, am in therapy.
I was ready to draw up divorce papers when I suddenly changed my mind. I told him I’d wait a year for him to have his therapy, and then we’d review everything we had learned and proceed from there.
Have I made a mistake? Right now, I can’t stand to be around him. Does this proposed one-year respite have any chance of working?—Sad Wife in Buffalo
Dear Wife: Yes, it does. It appears that in the midst of your pain and turmoil you experienced a brief moment of clarity. Your decision to give your husband—and yourself—a year of therapy and then revisit the issue of divorce was both wise and brilliant. You married each other for a reason; now give yourselves a chance to remember what it was.
Dear Abby: New neighbors moved in a few doors down from us. A few weeks later, they hosted an open house and invited about 15 families. They served food and graciously gave everyone a tour of the home.
My husband and I arrived about the same time as another neighbor, and the three of us visited with our hostess. The other neighbor proceeded to talk about the history of the home—who had lived there and what the house had been like when she visited there as a friend of the previous owners.
She then announced that the man who owned the home years ago had committed suicide—in the home. The hostess maintained a gracious stance, but my husband and I were horrified. Should she be told her comment was inappropriate?— Horrified in the East
Dear Horrified: Because the comment may have cast a pall over the housewarming, it was inappropriate. However, it may not have come as a complete surprise to the new owners. In the state where I reside, real estate agents are required by law to disclose that there had been a death in the house (suicide, murder), which might affect the value of the property. If you feel the need to say something to the neighbor who made that tasteless comment, by all means do so.