Mom weighs how to tell son about egg donor

Dear Abby: My husband and I very much wanted a child and used an egg donor to become parents. We are eternally grateful to the semi-anonymous donor (we have limited information on her) and love our 11-yearold son more than anything. We have told him that I needed help (for example, lots of shots) to become pregnant, but have not given him more information than that.

Now, I’m wrestling with how much to tell him and when. Part of me says he’s our son — period — and that’s all he needs to know. The other part of me says it’s not something I’m ashamed of.

What do we do? We are very private people. What’s the best way to handle this? I love my son and want to be honest, yet protect him and allow him to focus on his/our family. — Midwest Mom

Dear Mom: Secrets like the one you are tempted to keep have a way of taking on a life of their own. Your son will eventually need to know his biological mother’s and maternal grandparents’ medical information. Not knowing his level of emotional maturity, I can’t put a number on when he should be told. However, the longer you withhold the information, the greater the chances are that he will feel you weren’t truthful with him.

You must level with him, and when you do, let him know how much you wanted him and that you love him with all your heart.

Dear Abby: Lately, I have been feeling down with myself. For the last year or two, I have been really insecure about the way I look or act.

I’m overweight, and compared to my grandmother, I look like I’m pregnant. The way I act is strange. I talk to myself when I’m alone. I prefer to keep to myself and don’t really have any friends. At school, I eat lunch alone at my own table (literally).

I suffer from depression and anxiety, yet my dad says I’m just overreacting. My sister talks bad about me every day. I used to cut, not because I’m suicidal, but because I wanted to feel something different for once. Dad forced me to stop.

How do I fix me? — Hidden In Plain Sight

Dear Hidden: If it’s any comfort, many people talk to themselves.

I am, however, concerned that you are socially isolated. This is something you should discuss with your school counselor. There is a national organization called Beyond Differences that is dedicated to ending social isolation among young people. It started a program called “No One Eats Alone.” The website is beyonddifferences.org, and if your counselor is not aware of it, he or she may find it of interest.

Andrews McMeel Syndication