Couple’ name game about to welcome a new player

Dear Abby: Our daughter has been married for three years to a wonderful guy she dated for 10 years and loves dearly. Because she doesn’t like his last name, she chose to maintain her maiden name. He understood this soon after they started dating.

She’s now three months pregnant and facing a dilemma about what to name their child. She’s adamant that a hyphenated name is unacceptable. They have tentatively discussed a complete name change for themselves and the child. Her husband was adopted, and she feels there’s no reason his surname must be carried on. He’s OK with keeping his last name but would consider a new one if she suggests something he likes.

The problem is, she hasn’t been able to come up with one he likes. We’re concerned this issue will drag on without being settled until our grandchild arrives. We recently offered limited advice hoping they can work this out between themselves.

I believe her husband is entitled to keep his name, and she as well, but I’m against the child carrying only her name. Any suggestions you could provide to help resolve this would be appreciated before our grandchild is born nameless. — Family Delimma in Texas

Dear Family: My suggestion is that as helpful as you might wish to be, this is something your daughter and son-in-law must work out by themselves. “What’s in a name” is plenty, and because this dilemma is emotionally loaded, you should stay out of it.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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