Partner in need doesn’t have a partner indeed

I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years. In all this time he has never once asked me if I’m OK whenever I have gotten hurt. I got used to it, you might say. Well, I recently lost the ability to walk, and ended up in a nursing home for rehabilitation. My boyfriend would come to visit, but would never ask about progress. Furthermore, when I would show him my progress he wouldn’t act happy.

Now I’m home, and he treats me like garbage. I don’t know why. When I brought it up, he said he doesn’t know why. Should I end this relationship so I can find someone who’s supportive and who will help me get back to 100%? Or should I stay and work on this relationship? I’m less and less happy every day. — Hurting In The Midwest

Dear Hurting: Your boyfriend of 11 years is not a nurturer. That he doesn’t ask if you are hurt or injured shows he lacks empathy. If I had to hazard a guess, I would opine that he treats you like garbage now because he’s mad at you for needing his help and support. No amount of working on this will fix what’s missing in his character. Unless you want to be treated like this for the rest of your life, get rid of him.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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