Whether it’s internment or cremation, there are many ways to honor your loved ones

Deciding on monuments or how best to honor your loved ones after they’ve passed can be tricky. Texarkana Funeral Home Pre-need Sales Manager Todd Webb was able to add some insight to the topic.

There are a lot of options when it comes to sizing. How do you decide what size monument to select?

Each garden in a cemetery will have rules and regulations that must be followed. In those rules are guidelines regarding the type and size of monuments allowed. The majority of Memorial Gardens is Flat Bronze on Granite markers and they can vary in size depending on single or double spaces. A double depth interment or two urns in a single space will have a longer vertical size to accommodate two sets of names and dates. At Hillcrest, the majority of that cemetery are upright markers and they can range in color, size, shape and several other specifics.

Some folks aren’t sure what they should put on the monument. What do you tell your customers to focus on in terms of engraving?

I’m sure I enjoy walking around a cemetery more than most folks do, but I love to see a monument that tells me something about the person’s life. One of the manufacturers will take up to 5 photos and cast them into the background of a bronze marker. Those are wonderful because they tell you something about that persons hobbies or interests…maybe even their vocation. It is more common now to do laser engraving on the upright monuments as well. You will usually see this on a black granite markers. Photos or landscapes will show up well on the darker colors.

Many times I have seen monuments for two people, but one may have not passed on yet. How do you plan for that? How do you leave appropriate room to honor both of your loved ones?

On the granite or marble upright monuments, it isn’t hard. Most monument companies have someone who can sandblast a date into the stone on site at a minimal charge. The bronze markers can prove to be a little more challenging as they have “date of death” plates that are added to the bronze once someone has passed away. They come in too many sizes to name and can prove to be difficult with older markers and bronze companies that no longer are in business.

There are a lot of options these days on how to honor your loved ones when they pass. What are some of the benefits of cremation over other options?

More and more families are choosing cremation every year. The interesting thing is what’s after that. With a traditional burial, it is pretty obvious, we bury our loved one in a cemetery. But with Cremation, there’s not such an obvious answer. I talked once with a lady who had five family member’s urns in a closet. She wasn’t really thrilled with the arrangement, but the responsibility fell to her. She came to me asking “what do I do now?” Taking an urn home and placing it in a closet or on a shelf can be problematic when the next generation has to decided what to do with grandpa. Choosing a permanent place is a great answer. With that option, there is at least a place where family members can go to remember their heritage. When you choose scattering, that’s usually the end of the story. However, having said that, I do know of some folks who have scattered the cremains of a loved one, but still purchased a monument beside other family members to have a place to remember.

Monuments can be made from a variety of different types of stones. What do you tell your customers when they’re trying to determine what color and sculpt to select?

I guess it’s a little like choosing the color of brick to build a new home. There are preferences in colors and cost differences accordingly. The majority of our monuments as well as the granite bases that go under our bronze memorials are a basic gray granite that is mined in Georgia. It is less expensive than some because it is plentiful and relatively easy to come by. The black granite I mentioned earlier is significantly more expensive and can take a year from the time an order is placed until it arrives.

How do you got about fulfilling a viewing service if you plan to have your loved one cremated?

That’s part of the misunderstanding regarding the services that surround a cremation. Some families see Cremation as the least expensive option and sometimes it is that, but when a family chooses the least expense when it comes to cremation, they’ve omitted the possibility of closure that having a service allows for the family. Some religious traditions who weren’t in the past agreeable with cremation have come to the place where cremation is a viable option now, but they prefer to have a true funeral (body present in a casket). We call this a Complete Cremation Service. We have a ceremonial casket that is used – the family purchases the inside portion and rents the Oak shell. We would use that for a Visitation and/or Rosary service followed by a true funeral with the casket up front. After that service, we would then go to the crematory rather than the cemetery. We do embalm in this situation since there will be a visitation with the casket open.