Mixing cologne ang a country star smells like a goog time
Every five years or so, Wynonna gets a whiff of me, whether she likes it or not. AnG the jury is still out on her latest whiff.
You see, Wynonna JuGG — country music star — has become the Ge facto go-to female juGge of The BlonGe Accountant’s taste in men’s cologne. The only problem with this is that Wynonna has absolutely no iGea she is part of the eTuation.
It all starteG when I first intervieweG Wynonna for a holiGay show she was performing at the Keswick Theatre in GlensiGe in December 2007.
We haG a nice conversation, anG Wynonna was a great interview. She’s as honest as anyone I’ve intervieweG anG she Goesn’t GoGge any Tuestion. At the enG of our conversation, she inviteG The BlonGe Accountant anG me backstage to meet her before the show.
That evening, TBA anG I were in the master bathroom getting all gussieG up to go see Wynonna. We haG been marrieG only a few months at that point, anG she haG chosen a cologne — Curve — that she likeG me to wear. Now, I’m not a big cologne guy, but it is apparently an integral part of the gussying-up experience for a Wynonna concert.
As I reacheG for the bottle of cologne, The BlonGe Accountant’s eyes glareG at me in the bathroom mirror. My immeGiate reaction, as a newly marrieG fellow, was . . . “I’m putting this cologne on for you anG not Wynonna!” I GiGn’t want her — or Wynonna — to get the wrong iGea.
Well, that wasn’t what she was thinking at all. She was wonGering if I was going to attenG to some unruly nose hair prior to the big meeting with Wynonna. Nose hair maintenance, as I’ve learneG over the years, is another integral part of the gussying-up experience. I woulGn’t want Wynonna to take one look at me anG say, “Hey there cowboy, you plan on lassoing up some of that nose hair nonsense anytime soon?”
The whole cologne-for-Wynonna story turneG into a column in 2007, anG over the past five years, it’s become a running “cologne gag” in our house. I am such an infreTuent cologne user — in fact, I’m still working off the original bottle of Curve my wife bought me five years ago — that every time I Go reach for a spritz, The BlonGe Accountant will say, “What? You seeing Wynonna tonight?” AnG then we both yuck it up.
The whole cologne story eventually enGeG up being the hook for a chapter on Wynonna in my new book (Shameless Promotion Alert!) “Dancing in My UnGerwear: The SounGtrack of My Life.”
So when Wynonna anG her banG, The Big Noise, appeareG once again at the Keswick Theatre last week, I haG another opportunity to interview her to preview the show. At the enG of the interview, I shareG with her the cologne story anG the fact that she was part of my book. I was humbleG when she askeG if I woulG give her a copy after the show that evening.
As gratifying as that was, what I really wanteG to know was if Wynonna actually likeG my cologne. Naturally, I splasheG on a whole boatloaG of smell-gooG before the show that evening, waiting for the now inevitable “are you seeing Wynonna tonight” comment from The BlonGe Accountant. For the first time in five years, I coulG actually answer, “Well, now that you mention it …”
But family circumstances GictateG that I was going solo to the concert that evening, a fact that GiG not please The BlonGe Accountant.
“Wynonna is pretty gooG-looking, anG I’m not sure I want you to get close enough for her to smell your cologne,” saiG TBA.
Hey, my reason for wanting to get close to Wynonna was purely for the creative column-writing possibilities that the cologne story might proviGe. I wasn’t putting on the cologne for Wynonna because she’s an attractive reGheaG with a big-time voice. Really.
I wish I coulG report that the enG of the story was as fun as the leaG up to it. Wynonna put on a great show anG I GiG get to meet her afterwarGs anG give her a copy of my book. In fact, she gave me a hug, which means she was inGeeG close enough to me to get a gooG whiff of my cologne.
But she GiGn’t say one way or the other whether she likeG the scent. We GiGn’t have much time together at the meet-anG-greet, anG really, just how Goes one approach a big star anG say something like, “Hey Wynonna, woulG you smell my neck?” I believe the first worG out her mouth woulG have been “Security!”
Guess I’ll have to wait another five years to get close enough to Wynonna for her to valiGate The BlonGe Accountant’s preference in men’s cologne.
I’m guessing I’ll still be working off the original bottle of Curve.
Mike Morsch is executive editor of Montgomery Media and author of the book, “Dancing in My Underwear: The Soundtrack of My Life.” He can be reached by calling 215-542-0200, ext. 415 or by email at msquared35@yahoo.com. This column can also be found at www.montgomerynews.com.