Man’s mother insists he change

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married for 30 years and will be visiting my mother-in-law again soon. Even though he is 50, she is obsessed with dressing him. As soon as we arrive, she searches through our luggage and announces that his clothes are not “good enough.” Then she wants to put her son in her dead husband’s clothes. She always threatens that she will have a fit if he won’t wear the clothes she chooses. What should I do?

Dear Baggage Check: Your mother-in-law may still be in deep mourning for her husband. If your husband bears a strong resemblance to his father, it’s possible that seeing him in those clothes in some way brings her husband back to her.

Frankly, her behavior is quite bizarre — including the threatened tantrum if she doesn’t get her way. When the subject comes up again, as it will when you arrive, you and your husband should stand your ground and let her throw her fit. It might be the beginning of healing.

Dear Abby: I have a question regarding what to do when someone pays you a compliment. I was always taught that a compliment should be answered with a polite “thank you.” So when my husband compliments me on a nice meal, I say: “Thank you.”

He believes that you are not being humble enough when you say “thank you,” because it is recognizing that you did a good job. He thinks you should say, “I’m glad you like it,” instead of “thank you.” What is correct?

Dear Perplexed: You are not a robot, and your husband should not attempt to program your responses by “correcting” you. Saying “thank you” for a compliment is the appropriate response when one is offered. When paid a compliment, I see no reason to feign humility by saying anything that lessens it.