A broken spirit
got one leg and let’s just move forward with it. And he’s cute. He’s very, very cute.’ ”
Judy went back to school and back to having a social life.
“It was really hard because I was struggling trying to be a teenager and be a mom,” she said.
Anthony was 8 months old when her parents sat her down for a loving but straight talk about her behavior and immaturity.
“They offered to raise Anthony as my little brother,” she said.
“I had to make a choice,” she said.
“Am I going to be a mom or am I going to try to live my own life?”
Judy believes in God. That choice was a divine moment, she said, when she realized, perhaps for the first time, that a mother will put a child’s needs before her own.
“I remember sitting there being quiet and it was just going through my head that I was Anthony’s mom and I needed to get it together and be there for him,” she said. “On top of him having to grow up missing a leg, I didn’t want him to grow up knowing that ‘My mom gave me up to my grandparents.’
“I don’t say it was overnight I was suddenly a great mom,” she said.
“But I really worked hard, and Anthony and I were together always after that.”
To Judy, her son was perfect. And she made
Struggling together
Judy was 18 and Anthony 2 when she met her future husband.
Judy says the relationship was troubled from the start. In his autobiography, Anthony writes about loving but seeking respect from his stepfather.
Judy married, hoping to build a family, and would become a mother four more times. First came two boys, Nicolas and Joshua, followed by a daughter, Ronnie. And then Andrew, who at 14 is still Judy’s “baby.”
Looking back, Judy said she knew their marriage was a mistake.
“I was loyal to a fault,” she said.
Good days were marked by family dinners. The best days were spent watching their favorite team, the Oakland Raiders. Sundays were reserved for barbecues and football; the older boys and their mom even share a Raiders tattoo.
Mother and son developed almost a silent sixth sense to communicate.
“It was like where if Anthony clenches his jaw or if he swallows a certain way I can tell,” she said. “It’s kind of an eye-contact thing, from across the room, so we didn’t disrupt the household.”
Struggle was a part of their bond, Anthony said.
“While I was struggling, she was the one who’d make me feel positive about my challenges,” he said
“With my challenges of missing a leg and her challenges of being a (teen) parent and having a kid missing a leg, we were learning together and we were struggling together.”
Judy wanted a family – one family. She legally changed Anthony’s last name to Robles when he was 11.
Still, “for the most part it was my mom raising me,” Anthony said of the roles his mother
filled in his life. “In a way shewasmymomanddad. She had to teach me how to grow up and be a young man.”
The Robles family found a team to bond over besides the Raiders when Anthony decided to dedicate himself to wrestling at Mesa High School.
Anthony was a tough, bright kid, Judy said. But she believes his entry into wrestling taught him how to rise above failure.
His book tells of his sweat-dripping, backbreaking obsession to go from being a losing wrestler to a state high-school champion and a national collegiate champion.
But Anthony credits his mom, not his wrestling, for building his and his siblings’ strength of character.
“She always taught us to strive for excellence,” he said. “You never quit what you start.
“She had the nurturing role but also at the same time that role to push us, to make us go through those uncomfortable moments ... (that) in the long run would help us improve as human beings.”
Anthony was at ASU about five years ago when Judy’s marriage fell apart for the last time. Judy says it was her lowest point as a mother.
She had no way to pay the mortgage on their house. She was selling her blood plasma to get money to feed her kids.
“It was just feeling totally worthless and helpless,” she said. “It was wondering, ‘How am I going to do this?’ ”
Judy’s spirit was broken.
My children “were seeing a part of me they had never seen before,” she said.
Anthony came for a visit and saw in person the pain that his mother would not share with him over the phone.
“The life was just sucked out of her,” he said. “She wasn’t happy. Her body was just shriveling up. ... It finally broke her back, she couldn’t make it on her own.”
Anthony told his mom that it was his turn to step up. He would quit wrestling and get a job.
And something in Judy as a mother — not a woman, not a wife, but a mother — snapped.
“I was seeing him stand up,” she said. “I knew I had to stand up. I couldn’t let him make that sacrifice.”
to
The family would lose their longtime home, but Judy regained her spirit and began to thrive as a single mom.
And Anthony’s senior year would be that of a champion.
A mom, always
Judy is rebuilding her life, her career and her self-confidence. She got her associate’s degree in 2009 and is attending ASU to get her bachelor’s. She was recently promoted to her new position at ASU’s Preparatory Academy.
On a recent Saturday, all five of her children came home to help her move from Tempe to a house in Phoenix.
Anthony was fresh from a speaking tour. It was the first time she’d seen her boy in two weeks. Her hands went to his face, she kissed him hello — and then asked about his cough.
“I’m OK,” Anthony said, smiling at his mom. He joined Nicolas, Joshua and Ronnie in lifting boxes into the moving truck. Andrew made sure their dog stayed out of the way.
The Robles family was together.
Judy said this summer will be special because it is the last time for a while that they will all be in the Valley. This fall, Ronnie is moving to California to go to college. Nicolas and Joshua are moving in together in Tempe while they continue their education at ASU.
Anthony is living in Chandler, but between his motivational speaking tours with the Washington Speakers Bureau, his work on a movie deal and the clock ticking on a decision about aiming for the 2016 Olympics wrestling team, he is home less and less.
And Andrew will start high school in the fall. It will be just him and his mother in the new house.
They may be growing up. They are not outgrowing their mom.
“It’s my job, even at 24 (with Anthony), I still can’t stop being Mom,” Judy said. “We’re still close. (But) they’re learning to live their own lives.”
She set out lunch after a long morning of moving. Joshua, exhausted from his own move out of an ASU dorm 24 hours earlier, sat down to rest.
“I love my mom,” he said. “We are always first (with her). When it was tough. When we didn’t have … (enough) to eat. She would always let us eat. Even if she didn’t.”
Judy cried when she heard her son’s sentiment. She was watching over her new home and children when Anthony surprised her with a washer and dryer. He and a friend were already watching a YouTube video for guidance on installation.
“That’s Anthony,” Judy said. “I thought I was going to have to go to the Laundromat. Thank you, son.”
When Anthony was writing his book, he learned that his mom had always blamed herself for his having only one leg. But until now, he never knew why she felt that way.
Judy’s voice was soft as she said she always wondered if Anthony is paying for her mistakes. Perhaps if she hadn’t been “young and stupid” and gotten pregnant as a teen, maybe Anthony would have been born with two legs.
But now it is Anthony who wants to make something clear: Whether with one leg or two, he would choose the same family. The same God-given path.
“Sure, we had some rough patches, and sure, certain things kind of sucked. It’s made me who I am,” he said.
And he would choose the same mom.
“If I had my choice,” he said, “I would go through everything again.”