You may eat a $25 corn dog during ‘God Bless America’

Today’s question: Is it appropriate to stand up for the singing of “God Bless America” at sporting events?

It may be acceptable to stand, but there is nothing unpatriotic about keeping your butt in your uncomfortable, overpriced seat while you munch on the new Diamondbacks giant corn dog during “God Bless America.”

Did you read about that? The D-Bat Dog? An 18-inch-long corn dog stuffed with cheddar cheese, jalapeños and bacon. Deep-fried and served with fries, chipotle ketchup and spicy mustard. Twenty-five dollars. Does that sound disgusting or what? I don’t know about you, but I’d be a bit embarrassed just to be seen with one, much less eat one.

Anyway, playing “God Bless America” during the seventhinning stretch or some other break in other sports has become quite popular since 9/11.

It’s a dandy song, stirring and all that, but it’s not the national anthem, so patriotic etiquette does not require that you stand or remove your hat.

I suppose if there was some special exhibition involving the presentation of the U.S. flag during the performance, it would be respectful to stand.

Every now and then someone suggests replacing the anthem with “God Bless America” because it is less militant and easier to sing. There might be something to that, but in the meantime, it’s just another song.

Would you please explain to the public that the correct way to answer the question, “How are you doing today?” is “Well,” and not “Good”?

Try not to worry about it.