Alchemy of bribes to gifts: lots of quid, but little quo

Back when I worked for the claims department of a major insurance company, I got stuff. Some of the stuff consisted of tickets to Broadway shows and sports events, and bottles of booze.

These items were tendered to me by auto appraisers, repair shops and other firms that wanted the business my company could offer. Corrupt souls that they were, they offered these items as bribes. Pristine young man that I was, I accepted them as gifts. I was, in my own modest way, Hillary Clinton before her time.

The pattern established by the Cohen of Claims is similar to the one later copied by Clinton of Chappaqua. You may note that when it came to these matters — these matters being the acceptance of ethically dubious gifts — Hillary Clinton was lots of quid and little quo.

The mountains of money that came into the Clinton Foundation apparently got the donors nothing. They came from parts of the world where a man’s bribe is his word and yet money offered to the foundation did not open a door at the State Department.

“The fact remains that Hillary Clinton never took action as Secretary of State because of donations to the Clinton Foundation,” said Josh Schwerin, a Clinton campaign spokesman. Apparently this is true, and it no doubt breaks the hearts of Republicans who think that Hillary Clinton is a crook and a fool. She is possibly only a bit of the former and certainly none of the latter.

Casey Wasserman runs the Wasserman Media Group, a talent agency. According to the Washington Post, Wasserman’s own foundation contributed between $5 million and $10 million to the Clinton Foundation and his investment company hired Bill Clinton as a consultant, paying him $3.13 million in fees in 2009-10. For this, it seems Wasserman got nothing. When he tried to get the State Department to approve a visa for a British soccer star with a criminal record, he got nowhere — so much quid, so little quo.

As Cohen of Claims, I followed the same M.O. I treated every bribe as a gift and went out of my way to award business on competence only.

Hillary Clinton knew that the huge amounts of money raised by the Clinton Foundation were coming from donors who thought they were buying something — access, a favor down the line, even a choice seat at some glitzy Clinton event. The Clintons, understood what might be the expectations of the donors. Some of them, probably, felt stronger about taking a picture with Bill than about AIDS in Haiti.

Gilbert Chagoury, a Nigerian billionaire donated between more than $1 million to the Clinton Foundation. Yet, when he contacted the Foundation for help in getting a visa or to meet with an official regarding Lebanon, where he has business and political interests, he got nowhere.

There is precious little that’s charitable about the world of charity. Raising money, like sausage-making, ain’t pretty to see and it would be just criminally naïve to rely on the big hearts of big donors. Much is bartered — access, recognition, social standing, proximity to the star at a dinner, a call afterward and, unspoken, the promise of influence if influence is needed. The Clintons knew exactly what was happening — a kind of alchemy in which potential bribes were turned into innocent gifts, leaving everyone with clean hands and, inevitably, the noxious odor of scandal. Write to columnist Richard Cohen at cohenr@washpost.com.