Bland

friends, colleagues and neighbors.

Some of the people we call “aunt” and “uncle” really aren’t. Some cousins are real; others are people we’ve known since they were kids.

What we called them — Minski, Miss Karen and Mr. John, TomandAmy (like it was all one word) — didn’t matter as much as the fact that they were there, for the good times and for the bad.

All together, they have provided this foundation from which we could push off and a safe place where we could always return. So when the little girl with the fountain ponytail arrived, we closed ranks around her, all of us. She called Kasey “mommy.” Kasey’s mom became “Nana.” Her brother Virgil was “Uncle.” So was their step-brother Elliot.

My friend Ally went to Target and outfitted her in shorts, shirts, dresses and leggings. Baby Girl called Ally “Goofy” for a while because Ally dressed as Goofy for her third birthday party. (I was Daisy Duck, Niki was Donald Duck, and Rhonda was Minnie Mouse.)

Rhonda bought her a Minnie Mouse dress with a frill around the bottom and shoes. Baby Girl called Rhonda something that sounded like “Doh.”

I bought her books and puzzles and tutus. (A girl can never have too many tutus.) She kept calling me “Ballerina.”

Kasey did all the hard work. She took her to the doctor, a child development specialist, a therapist, the dentist. She taught her to talk, use silverware and keep her napkin on her lap. She took her to her first dance class and her first movie. She took her on an airplane and to the beach for the first time.

She pushed her on the swing in her backyard a thousand times and read a thousand bedtime stories. She picked her up after every tantrum, and held her tight, until they tapered off.

Kasey juggled work as a Realtor with preschool and nap time. When Kasey needed help, she called her mom, or Anna, or Virgil, or me.

I taught her to wink. Sawyer tried to teach her to play the piano.

I spent $60 on a Little Mermaid dress and took her to see the play, where she insisted on meeting Ursula afterward even though she trembled a bit. I took her to the aquarium and the pet store.

Kasey brought Big Girl to see my tap group dance at a retirement community. After our first number, the applause died down, and I saw her lean from her seat into the aisle and call out, “Good job, Ballerina!”

Afterward, she told me that she was going to go live with her aunt and uncle.

“They’re gonna be my momma and daddy,” she told me. And then, “Maybe they will love me.”

I hugged her so she wouldn’t see my tears. “I’m so happy for you,” I said into her hair. I told her I would miss her.

I could come visit her, she told me, if make good choices. I wanted to tell her that I would because family is forever. But she knows that’s not true.

Her aunt and uncle came to visit for a week. I went to dinner at my Aunt Dana’s house to meet them. Big Girl rolled Aunt Dana’s

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