MIL pressures couple for pregnancy news

Problem is, with a holiday coming up, I’ll have her AND all her family backing her up, and I’m pretty sure it’s rude to stand up and walk out on a big family dinner. Any suggestions on how to shut this down before it even starts?

No, it’s not rude to stand up and walk out of any dinner in response to being grilled on a topic you’ve already asked people to drop. It’s completely appropriate.

When they “insist they want to ‘be there’ for us on this journey,” it’s also perfectly within the bounds of good manners to respond: “The best way to ‘be there on this journey’ is to respect our request not to keep asking about it. When there is something to share, we will share it.”

Pushing you is rude. Responding civilly to being pushed is not rude.

I hope your husband agrees to be the one to convey this message. To leave it to you to be the messenger will invite his mother to treat you as the “problem,” which for obvious reasons is so unfair to you. Your mother-in-law is the problem right now; if your husband won’t draw a line with her to protect you, then he becomes part of the problem. Given that you already have an emotional weight on you – I’m sorry - I hope he sees that and intervenes accordingly.

By the way, I answered your question as a bigger-situation-in-progress, but please know that with first-time questioners about having kids, it’s appropriate (and arguably long overdue) to say, “I know you mean well, but for many people that is a painful question.”