CAROLYN HAX

Dear Carolyn: My mother has gotten very good at getting information and causing trouble with people through social media. She has found which husband would cheat. She has found which teenage son or daughter uses drugs or has homosexual tendencies, by opening accounts and passing as a teenager, vixen, housewife, successful business owner, and even a teenage girl who started rumors about a boy’s sexuality. She went as far as passing herself off as a male baseball fan to become good friends (on social media) with my brother’s best friend so she could find out if they were just friends or in a sexual relationship. She has asked some of her friends to call my husband to flirt with him to see if he is faithful.

I’ve tried to warn some friends and family of this, but everyone dismisses it or says it’s their fault for letting someone influence them on social media. I’m concerned she has already befriended my son’s friends online. Should I take it lightly?

Your mother is a shockingly terrible person. I’m sure there are ways for me to hedge this opinion or present it to you gently, but by your account, your mother stands naked and unapologetic in her evil, so the only thing that feels appropriate is to call it out in kind.

As her child, your position here is complicated at best. Depending on when she got this way and how it affected you, therapy might be useful – or essential. But there is no place for taking anything lightly.

Sound the klaxon to warn everyone about her, then get off her sinking ship. Let her rumors drift into a void.