Mom fears for son’s heart

Dear Abby: I am very close to my 19year-old son. He is kind, sweet and bighearted. He has learning disabilities and the maturity level of probably a 15or 16-year-old. Naturally, I am protective of him. He had one girlfriend during his senior year, and when they broke up after four months, he was beyond devastated.

About a week ago, he told me he likes a woman from his work. They went out on a couple of dates and, come to find out, she’s 33 and has three kids (9, 7 and 8 months old). He told me she asked him if he wanted to be in a serious relationship or just be friends with benefits. He told her he wanted something serious, and I guess she agreed.

Abby, this woman is taking advantage of my son! What would a woman that age want with a kid? This is a complicated nightmare, and I do not want my son involved with her. Is there anything I can do to stop this train wreck?

I have talked to him about my concerns, but it didn’t accomplish anything. I told him I want to meet her, and they agreed. Any suggestions?

Dear Mom: Not all romances are guaranteed to last, as most adults find out after they enter the dating scene. At 19 – learning disabilities or not – your son is considered to be an adult.

You cannot protect your son from sadness or predict how his relationships will turn out. Let him know that you are supportive of him always. Get to know her so you can communicate with her without her becoming defensive. You will gain nothing by seeming hostile.