Sister’s boyfriend might be gay

Dear Abby: I am a gay male. My sister, “Cate,” is in what appears outwardly to be a committed relationship, but I know for a fact it isn’t.

Her boyfriend, “Darren,” invited me out for coffee a few days ago, and told me he isn’t sure that he’s straight. He then proceeded to say he could easily see himself dating me!

I don’t know what to do. I want to tell Cate, but I don’t want to wreck her relationship. The other problem is, I also feel attracted to Darren, but it’s not my place to pursue him. Any advice would be helpful.

Dear In A Bind: Your sister’s relationship with Darren was “wrecked” the minute he told you that he isn’t certain he’s heterosexual and that he has his eye on you. Talk to Darren and tell him it’s time to come clean with Cate.

Dear Abby: I supervise someone I’ll call “Kevin.” He is lazy, and his work is so sloppy he should have been fired long ago. Our unit’s reputation has suffered because of Kevin.

I supervise another person who is retiring soon, and I would like to help plan his retirement party. Kevin is also nearing retirement age. When Kevin finally leaves, am I obligated to plan a retirement party for him? Or should I not help plan either party?

Dear Stuck: Unless party-planning is part of your job designation, you are not obligated to arrange one for Kevin if you prefer not to, considering what a problem he has been for your unit. A party later celebrating the welcoming of “new staff ” would probably go over better.