Tight budgets squeeze millennials out of weddings
Devin Hessing, 28, started planning for her cousin Emily Spece’s wedding as soon as the invitation landed in her mailbox.
The cousins are close – they grew up together in Sacramento, California. Hessing, who now lives 40 minutes away in Diamond Springs, California, even had Spece as a bridesmaid in her own wedding five years ago. She called it part of that “payback factor” that comes with family events and wedding season.
Hessing and husband, Chris, decided to make the most of the drive to Sacramento, turning what could’ve been a quick turnaround trip into a two-day “date-night weekend.” The clincher? Chris’ parents were visiting from South Carolina and available to babysit their 6month-old son for free.
But without Chris’ parents to watch their bundle of joy, Hessing and her husband might not have attended – which is the case for another cousin’s wedding they’ve been invited to later this summer.
Making a choice between everyday essentials and a weekend wedding isn’t uncommon for millennials, as 41% have considered skipping a friend’s big day because they couldn’t afford the expenses, compared to 33% of all Americans according to a 2018 study by NerdWallet.
Between showers, bachelorette and bachelor parties and the big day itself, wedding party members spend an average of about $730, according to a 2018 Bankrate study.
Not in the wedding? Even guests not involved in the ceremony spend $630 per wedding by the time travel, outfits and hotels are thrown into the mix.
More weddings to attend, less money to spend
Social media makes it easier to stay in contact with friends after high school and college, says Eric Roberge, a financial planner for 30- and 40-year-old professionals at Beyond Your Hammock. And, sometimes those friends now live far away.
“Millennials may be more likely to have lots of good friends in far-flung locations,” Roberge said. “Which, in turn, could make it more likely that when you’re invited to a wedding, you have to travel farther and spend more money.”
Higher student debt during the early working years may also contribute to tighter wallets during wedding season, says Byrke Sestok, the president of Rightirement Wealth Partners in Harrison, New York.
In 2018, 33% of millennials had student loan debt compared to 20% of Generation Xers at comparable ages in 2004, according to a recent Federal Reserve Board study, with the median millennial debt at $18,000.
However, with the median marriage age set at about 29 men and 27 for women according to the 2013-2017 U.S. Census, millennials are more likely to have friends and family getting hitched – which means higher unexpected costs for the generation that’s least likely to afford them.
Despite a smaller cash flow, millennials are willing to spend more on wedding gifts, averaging $151 per wedding, compared to $124 for Generation X and $113 for baby boomers. Weston said this is most likely because older generations are attending second or third weddings, where guests may either spend less or be asked not to bring a gift at all.
Presence over presents
While the average wedding cost is over $33,000 – up about $5,000 since 2013, according to The Knot, a wedding planning and registry site – there are still lots of options for guests to save some cash:
❚ Build an emergency fund: Roberge tells his millennial clients to earmark a savings account specifically for wedding expenses, similar to an emergency fund. Since the frequency of weddings is higher for their age group, a fund can offset the uptick in expenses if some cash is allocated each month.
“Be aware and plan in advance,” Roberge says. “If you’re in your 20s and 30s and your friends are starting to get married, start saving now.”
❚ Consider the relationship: Your relationship to the couple getting married should be the barometer for how much you spend, said Lauren Kay, executive editor for The Knot. If it’s a family member or close friend, you might spend a bit more than you would on a co-worker or college roommate.
❚ Book travel and shop strategically: Other options to save money include booking in groups to score hotel and flight deals, opting for an AirBnb or spending the night at a local friend or family’s house, Kay said.
“Attending a wedding is expensive,” said Kim Forrest, a writer for WeddingWire. “And if there’s any way for you to attend, I think you should definitely make the effort.”