Man’s family treats him poorly

Dear Abby: I have been married to a wonderful man for 33 years. We have the best time together, love each other and enjoy our life together.

The trouble is his family. He’s the youngest, and they treat him like an outsider. Whenever we get together, his mother often tells him he was a “surprise” baby, and his siblings treat him like an interloper.

I have been wanting to limit our contact with his family, and my husband, who has been loyal to them even though they treat him this way, is finally coming around. What’s the most polite way of distancing ourselves without hurting anyone?

Dear Wife: The “polite way” is to tell the relatives you can’t see them because you have a schedule conflict.

The BETTER way would be for you AND YOUR HUSBAND to tell them you don’t like the way they treat him and if it continues, they will see much less of both of you.

Dear Abby: I have been at my current job just over a year, and I really enjoy it. My co-workers and I get along, and it is a great job for my skill set.

When I was interviewing for the position, I made a point of saying that I am not the type of person who will leave after a short while because it’s a problem employers face where I live. Recently, however, I have been asked to help my father run his business. He’s not a young man, and he genuinely needs the help I can provide.

I’m torn. Should I put my family first, or keep my promise not to leave this job after such a short time?

Dear Torn: I think you already know what you must do. Talk to your boss, explain the situation and apologize.