5 VITAL LESSONS FROM THE BARRIO
Women from the ‘barrio’ taught me how to cope during challenging times
I’ve learned a lot from my abuelas,tías,
mamá and comadres. I call those lessons pearls of wisdom. These women from the
barrio or the neighborhood had significant influence in my life and offered important insights.
Here are a few of those pearl of wisdom that may help through this challenging time:
1. Don’t be a chismosa
(gossip or tattletale)
When you live in the barrio, trust is everything. You can’t live in quarters that tight and not know who is and isn’t loyal and trustworthy.
This also matters when there are scarce resources and you need to rely on one another’s support at various times. Whether someone needs a micro-loan because they’re facing significant challenges, or they need advice surrounding a discrete issue with their child’s needs, knowing you can trust the people around you is critical.
In today’s challenging times, it’s important to remember that we need one another and can find ways to share in one another’s suffering – even if it’s from a distance.
One of my favorite business training programs is Stephen Covey’s “Leading at the Speed of Trust,” where business and government leaders are taught to understand that without trust, you never get anywhere.
That’s intuitive to Latinos and it makes
perfect sense. How can you possibly advance an issue or move an initiative forward if you can’t trust one another? It never works and it’s destructive to positive forward mobility.
Honesty, loyalty, and trust matters.
2. Be present. Help and have fun
When you live in the barrio you can’t help but be present. There’s a vibrancy there like nowhere else. It sometimes comes with fear – developing an awareness that there are those who prey on others and need to be avoided. But mostly it comes with connection and vibrancy.
In the barrio, there are always opportunities to serve. Just step outside (sometimes your bedroom) and there are people in need.
People who need help filling out simple tax forms, someone who needs a couch to sleep on from their long journey to America, people who need a simple cup of coffee, a smile and a buenos días in the morning. When you’re present with others, you learn so much. You hear stories of life experiences from faraway lands. You have the privilege of nurturing someone’s heartache and supporting their ambition.
Being present also provides the opportunity for great fun and laughter. We lived surrounded by the Marcos de Niza barrio with the Matthew Henson African American barrio across from us on Seventh Avenue in Phoenix.
While there were rumbles, we also had times with our stereo speakers out on the patio and danced together on the streets – learning the latest R&B moves from our black girlfriends.
Then we moved to Who has the best jokes? Who is the greatest storyteller? Who has the wittiest comebacks? Even if you are not the storyteller, laughing and encouraging these skills brings everyone great joy. We learned that being present provides a richness to life like nothing money can buy.
3. Honor your elders and ancestors
For us, this was a fundamental part of our religion, stemming principally from our indigenous roots. Elders are sacred and to be honored. As you care for and honor those who gave you life, your life is enriched.
As a child, I remember coming home to my great-grandmother’s hospital bed strategically placed in front of the large picture window of our home so she could see her flower bed, and jumping up to visit her saying, “Hi Nanita, how are you today?” And her responding in her limited English, “I think God forgot me.”
I would say, “No Nanita! We need you here!” But of course, she made it clear that she was ready for transition to the next life.
We believe our ancestors watch over us from the afterlife and are there to call on when needed. I rely on this as my
“higher power,” knowing that they are with me, guiding me and my family, and providing us with strength and insight.
We must value our elders and care for them in this life. And once they are gone, we cannot forget them.
4. We’re all in this together
We cannot live for ourselves alone, and that when someone falters, we all suffer.
Supporting the health and well-being of others not only benefits them, but it also benefits us all. There is a sense of the common ground in the barrio that is profound.
5. And if you can do nothing else ...
And finally, a word of wisdom from my beloved mother and tía (aunt), “If you can do nothing else, lipstick and earrings, please!”