Mom’s ‘friends’ abandon her after third child is born
Dear Abby: I recently welcomed my third child, a baby boy who was wanted and planned. We are overjoyed. Our two daughters are just under 10 years old. Over the years, my social circle has consisted mostly of the parents of my daughters’ friends.
Abby, my news was met with mixed reactions. Some were thrilled for my pregnancy, while others were shocked.
After my son was born, I didn’t get visits or even a phone call from some of them. I announced his birth on social media and mailed out a beautiful announcement, but he hasn’t been acknowledged nor have I been checked on.
I know he won’t really be affected by this and I’m trying to focus on the positives. We have a big family on both sides, and many people within our community have warmly welcomed him. But I have been a good friend to these women, supported them in their times of need. What am I supposed to say to these “friends” when I run into them again?
Dear Mom: When you encounter them, be cordial. Make polite conversation and ask how they and their families are doing. If they inquire, tell them you and your family are well. Then move on, recognizing you are dealing with individuals who are solely centered upon themselves.
Dear Abby: I divorced my abusive ex-husband and am happily remarried. I have a son and daughter from my first marriage. They saw a lot of physical and emotional abuse when they were young. My son witnessed more of the abuse than my daughter.
My son has constantly brought up the past and has never been able to make a decent living. He’s married with three children, and they have lived with his mother-in-law for years. I have apologized many times for what happened in the past and asked for forgiveness. I don’t know what else I can do.
I always send birthday and holiday money telling them that I love them, but for some reason they have stopped answering my calls or responding to my texts. Should I stop sending birthday checks? They missed Mother’s Day and my heart is broken.
Dear Paying: You will never know what you “did wrong” unless one of your adult offspring decides to tell you. I hope you realize that you are being abused again, this time by two passive-aggressive adults. You are not the reason your son lives with his mother-in-law.
Please stop flogging yourself. living your own life.
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