Were Goodell, Brees sincere in their apologies?
Depending upon the level of sincerity, “I’m sorry” are either the easiest or hardest words to say.
An apology can be motivated by heartfelt contrition, or just a desire to drop retardant on a wildfire of criticism. Sometimes, it’s hard for us to tell the difference.
That was the apparently the case earlier this month when NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell apologized for not supporting players who protested racial injustice, and Saints quarterback Drew Brees apologized for misunderstanding the reasons why players kneeled during the national anthem.
Some lauded Goodell and the NFL for admitting their mistakes, finally. Others thought he fell short because he never mentioned Colin Kaepernick’s name.
Some praised Brees for listening to his critics and being open to changing his mind. Others questioned his sincerity, reasoning that he had to do something to soothe irritated teammates, and, perhaps, control the damage to hopes of a future career in politics.
Sports have produced some of the worst apologies in the history of, well, history.
The Astros bungled their attempt earlier this year to say they were sorry for stealing signs.
After being suspended for testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs a few years ago, Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun said he wished to “apologize to anyone I may have disappointed.”
May have?
Former NFL quarterback Ryan Leaf once read his apology to reporters, then crumpled up the paper and tossed it in his locker.
So, what makes for a good apology? A bad one?
“The biggest thing is sincerity,” said Rich Dubek, a former Phoenix television journalist who owns Dubek Media Group, a company that specializes in video production and media training. “You have to really, truly believe in what you’re about to say.
Or else in this hyper-media world it’s going to spotted quickly that you are not sincere.
“You have to own up to the mistake. And the biggest thing, there has to be depth to what you’re saying. You can’t just ‘I’m sorry.’ That doesn’t offer anything. You have to provide depth as to why. Most importantly, you have to answer the question, ‘Why am I sorry?’ And if the only response is, ‘I’m only sorry I got caught,’ well, you know where that goes.”
Integral to an effective apology, Dubek said, is the inclusion of “corrective action.”
In other words, you’ve said you’re sorry, what are you going to do about it?
“What I liked about what Drew Brees issued in his apology,” Dubek said, “was when he talked about not only the injustice (to) the Black community, then he said, ‘I am going to go forward listening more, listening to this community.’
“That stuck with me. It was OK, now I am sensing sincerity. And more importantly, I’m sensing he has a proactive plan that he’s going to implement to become better.”
Michelle Garrett, a public relations expert based in Columbus, Ohio, echoed many of Dubek’s points. But she added one: apologize as quickly as possible.
“Social media can cause any misstep
— real or perceived — to catch fire quickly,” she said. “We see this happen repeatedly.”
In Goodell’s case, he apologized for something that started nearly four years ago, when Kaepernick first sat, then kneeled during the national anthem. Goodell’s recent apology came only after NFL players posted a video asking the league to condemn police brutality and admit it was wrong to silence players who protested.
Was Goodell, who is employed by the NFL’s owners, sincere?
Or did he sense that players were no longer going to be pacified by locking arms with owners and coaches during the anthem, which happened in 2017 three days after President Trump said at a rally, "Wouldn't you love to see one of these NFL owners, when someone disrespects our flag to say, 'Get that son of a bitch off the field right now. Out. He's fired. He's fired."
To Cardinals offensive tackle D.J. Humphries, Goodell’s apology lacked one important ingredient.
“I would have liked to have heard Colin Kaepernick’s name in that apology,” Humphries said in a conference call with Arizona reporters on Monday.
As with any apology, the test of its sincerity will be future action.
Will Brees prove that he really understands the reasons other players kneel.
Will the NFL stand behind players no matter what the president might say? If television ratings decline?
One of my favorite novelists, James Lee Burke, put it best: “People were not what they said. They were not what they thought. They were not what they promised. People were what they did. When the final tally is done, nothing else mattered.”