Couple splits after four years

Dear Abby: My boyfriend of four years (the father of my two little boys) and I have decided to separate. We got along, but when we did argue, it escalated. We bought a home together a year ago, but two weeks ago he moved back to his parents’ house. We alternate the boys every two or three days.

Our issues could have been fixed, but we were too prideful. Now I’m starting to have regrets – what have I done? We could have been a family for our little boys. I wanted this separation in order to work on myself and repair our relationship. But he seems happier now and is enjoying the separation, while I cry myself to sleep. How do I move forward to truly be happy for myself and my boys?

Dear Sad Mommy: People move forward by learning from their mistakes. Wait another week or so and ask your former boyfriend how he feels about relationship counseling to settle your issues. If he is truly happier living with his parents and unwilling to do the work necessary for a lasting relationship, give yourself time to heal from this breakup, and when you are emotionally balanced again, start moving on with your life.

Dear Abby: Sixty years ago I had a brief extramarital affair that resulted in the birth of a son. For a multitude of reasons I have never revealed the identity of his biological father to him or anyone else. I recently learned his daughter is doing some DNA testing, and I’m afraid my long-ago lie will be discovered. I do not want my son, my granddaughter or anyone else to discover it this way. Do you have any advice on how I should handle it?

Dear Holding: If possible, meet with your son in person and tell him the whole story. Do it in quiet, private surroundings. I am sure he will have many questions, and you should be prepared to answer them honestly.