Colleagues get side-eye from wife

Dear Abby: My husband recently started a new job. He works with a bunch of women.

These women “adore” him, and I don’t think most are a threat, but two of them are very flirtatious. He says they act like that with everyone, but I have tried to explain there are boundaries of what’s acceptable for how a woman acts toward a married man.

I am confident he wouldn’t flirt back, but they seem to take his kindness as “accepting” their behavior. I don’t want them to think he thinks it’s OK, but he doesn’t want to be rude since they all work together. Am I overreacting?

– Stuck Between Quiet or Confronting

Dear Stuck: You and your husband will be a lot happier if you stop obsessing about his work environment.

It would be extremely inappropriate for you to confront his co-workers. If their “adoration” gets to the point where he becomes uncomfortable, he can either tell them enough is enough or enlist the help of his supervisor or his boss.

Dear Abby: I was lunching with a group of women when the waiter walked up and addressed us as “you guys.” To me, there needs to be another way of addressing women that does not insult them and expect it to be accepted. It would have been just as easy to say, “What can I do for you ladies today?” or something of that nature.

One of the women at our table informed the waiter that we were a group of women, not men. Was she right to correct him?

– Patsy in Alabama

Dear Patsy: The use of the word “guys” is decidedly casual. I’m sure your server – who I’ll bet was a young person – didn’t intend to insult anyone.Because she was offended, she was right to speak up – as long as she did it in a way that didn’t embarrass the server.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.