Woman’s marital arrangement causes strife for rest of family

Dear Abby: My adult daughter is married. She also has a boyfriend. Both of these men live with her and share her bed. Her children are horrified by it and want nothing to do with their mother. They are embarrassed and ashamed, as am I. Her older children are of age but still in school. They would like to move out but can’t afford to; the youngest is a minor and afraid of the boyfriend. My daughter’s husband doesn’t object to the share plan. Is there anything I can do to help the kids?

– Crowded Bed in Colorado

Dear Crowded: Why is your youngest grandchild afraid of your daughter’s boyfriend? Has he been physically or emotionally abusive or “grooming” her? If you don’t know the answer, it is important you find out so you can intervene. If there is physical abuse or possibly grooming going on, CPS should be notified. A potential solution might be to invite your grandchildren to live with you until they are out of school and able to live on their own. Your daughter, her husband and her boyfriend may be happier with all of the children out of the picture. Parents of the year, they are not.

Dear Abby: My husband’s birthday is on the same day as our grandson’s first communion. Our grandson’s family lives out of town, about a day’s drive. The problem is, my husband is not Catholic and doesn’t want to go, he doesn’t want to spend his birthday driving and sitting in a church. I am so torn. Should I push it? He feels I should put him before the children and grandchildren.

– In the Middle

Dear In the Middle: Your husband is being childish and selfish. Your grandchild will have only one first communion, while you and your husband can celebrate his birthday on another day. Can you get to the site by other means of transportation to spare him the driving? He should be ashamed of himself. I hope his candle goes out before he makes a wish!