Mother dislikes son for his resemblance to her brother

Dear Abby: My 25-year-old son is a single father of three boys, 6, 4 and almost 3. They have been living with me, my youngest and my husband in a twobedroom house for a while now, and I’m not happy with my life.

I enjoy my grandkids, but I don’t enjoy my son. He looks and acts like my older brother, who I never liked because he was mean and bullied me. What can I say or do to get my son out, and how do I deal with my feelings toward him? I love him, but I don’t really like him.

– Over It in New Mexico

Dear Over It: If the only thing you have against your son is his strong physical resemblance to your brother – whom you dislike for good reason – you are being unfair to him. However, this is your home, and if the conditions are no longer pleasant for you, you have the right to change them. Give your son a reasonable deadline to find other living arrangements without alienating him, if that is possible. (Your living conditions

ARE crowded right now, so your reason is valid.)

Dear Abby: I am the youngest of eight children. My oldest sibling, “Lois,” is 72. She is in the habit of returning “gifts” she says I gave to her as far back as 40 years ago. (She doesn’t want to deal with getting rid of the items herself.) I think this is extremely rude. Lois does this only with me.

Most of the time, I don’t even remember the gift, or I already have one of the items. She’ll usually attach a “sweet” note to it to make me feel guilty for not keeping it. She will also send it to me via another family member. I try to tell her to pay it forward to someone who could use or enjoy the item, but she ignores me. How do I get her to stop this?

– Give and Take in Texas

Dear Give and Take: You can’t get Lois to stop, so stop trying. When it happens again, find the humor in it and donate the item to a thrift shop. (Or rewrap it and gift it to another relative for Christmas or a birthday.)