Quick toilet training takes patient approach

ents have put the potty. I recommend that a gate be used in conjunction with a “potty bell” — a simple kitchen timer that’s set to go off at regular intervals in anticipation of the child’s need to use the potty. When the bell goes off, the parents simply remind the child that it’s time to use the potty. If the child is resistant, then I sometimes but not always recommend that the parents use a gate.

An important caveat: If the child in question perceives that the gate is being used punitively, then the child’s resistance is likely to increase, along with tantrums. For that reason, if a gate is used, then the potty should be located in a non-threatening room, like the child’s play room. If the child gets used to being confined to one fairly interesting room from the time he begins moving around on his own, and that’s the room in which the potty is placed (there’s no requirement, after all, that a toddler has to “go” in the bathroom), the child should cooperate readily in training and it shouldn’t take more than a few weeks.

Parental anxiety over toilet training — ubiquitous these days — is another killer. If a child senses that his parents are over- ly eager for him to use the toilet, he’s likely to put up a fight. The overly eager parent quickly turns into a micromanager, and micromanagement in any context, with any age human, provokes push-back.

So the keys to relatively quick toilet training are a relaxed but authoritative approach, planning and structure. You obviously did a good job from the outset. If you hadn’t, your daughter wouldn’t have had such quick success. She’s not afraid of sitting on the potty — again, obviously — so my best guess is that the “poop” thing is just going to take her a little more time. I don’t get the impression that she’s resistant; she’s just not fully awake when she has to have a BM. In effect, she’s still on her infant BM schedule. Within a month or so she will probably transition rather naturally to having her BM at the same time every day, during her waking hours. At that point, you’ll be able to use the bell as a reminder. As for the gate, in this case I don’t think it’s going to be necessary.

In the meantime, just keep up your patient, positive approach. It’s served both of you well so far.

By Janet I. Tu

Seattle Times SEATTLE — In the hours after a gunman killed one Seattle Pacific University student and wounded two others on June 5, what struck many was the way the students responded.

They clasped hands in prayer circles; lifted their voices together to sing hymns; prayed for the shooter as well as the victims.

“I have never been more proud of this institution,” Richard Steele, a professor in SPU’s School of Theology, wrote in an email to friends. “The faith, courage and calmness were just stunning,”

The response of the students, faculty and staff to the startling violence highlights the role of religious belief at SPU. The small evangelical Christian college stands out in the Seattle area for the degree to which it works on developing students’ faith and for fostering a tight-knit community.

All undergraduates must take at least three courses in theology, and are encouraged to attend worship services, Bible studies, Bible retreats and other such activities to nurture their faith. They are expected to adhere to a code of conduct that prohibits premarital, extramarital or homosexual sex, as well as the use of alcohol or tobacco on campus, and marijuana on or off campus.

The some 4,000 students are predominantly Christian, although there are a few non-Christians at the school, which was founded in 1891 by the Free Methodist Church of North America.

Faculty and staff must be professing, practicing Christians.

Community is emphasized, with students encouraged to participate in activities through their academic majors, residence halls, campus leadership positions, or through ministry or volunteer service.

All of that — and especially his theology classes and relationships with others at SPU —helped develop the faith of Alex Piasecki, a 21-yearold junior majoring in theology.

He is drawing from that faith now, even though “I don’t know if there’s any way of making sense of what happened,” Piasecki said. “I’m placing a lot of faith in God at this time. It’s a new thing for all of us. It’s very hard to go through. I truly believe that God is the ultimate healer and redeemer. We’re just going to have to be patient through this process.”

In light of the school’s emphasis on faith- and community-building, it did not surprise Bob Zurinsky, SPU’s assistant director of university ministries, that students, faculty and staff responded the way they did.

“What we’ve witnessed at SPU,” he said, “has been not so much a reactive burst of energy, but rather a deep response that reflects many years of immersion in the practice of grace, worship and life together.”

“We’re allowing ourselves to not really have answers, to have whatever feelings we are having,” said Megan Wildhood, a 28-year-old graduate student at SPU’s Seattle Pacific Seminary, who says her faith was very much shaped over the years by the support and care of the School of Theology faculty.

“What I’m seeing most is the desire to really be together, to find each other, to look after each other. To both give and receive the love of Christ.”