There’s no age limit for police blotter

Yes, pucks and fists often mix — but in octogenarian shuffleboard?

Herbert Hayden, 81, pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor battery charge for punching a fellow competitor at the Pinellas Park (Fla.) Senior Center and whacking him with a shuffleboard cue.

Hayden was ordered to pay about $1,000 in fines, fees and restitution. And just for good measure, the judge tacked on five minutes for fighting, two minutes for roughing and another two for high-sticking.

Nice payout

Hey, it’s great work if you can get it. Ronda Rousey got paid $3 million to go 48 seconds in her UFC comeback — which pencils out to a tidy $225 million an hour.

Headlines

■ At TheKicker.com: “NCAA to give every game in 2017 a ‘bowl name’ to improve ratings.”

■ Comedian Argus Hamilton, after Florida beauty-pageant winner Vanessa Barcelo was charged with assaulting a man with a baseball bat during a drunken Christmas party: “If stupidity were oil, Florida would be OPEC headquarters.”

Wishful thinking

Clovis High School’s Eric Roanhaus just stepped down after 39 seasons as the winningest prep-football coach in New Mexico history.

“I know Thoroughbreds, they put them out to stud,” he told the Albuquerque Journal. “But at 70, that’s totally out of the question.”

Just wondering

Was Aussie race-car driver Will Power, in a previous life, a German racer named Horst?

Quote mark

Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express, noting the 99th anniversary of the first NHL game, played on Dec. 19, 1917: “The first star was Jaromir Jagr.”

Some impediment

A hippopotamus decided to invade the golf course during the final round of the Alfred Dunhill Championship in Malelane, South Africa. No word on whether the critter replaced its divots.

Ground-Dawg Day

And now, for this CFB update: Alabama just punted Washington back to the 10-yard line again.

Pick play

Arkansas tight end Jeremy Sprinkle got sent home just hours before the Belk Bowl when he got caught shoplifting — from a sponsoring Belk department store. Or, as Razorbacks apologists prefer to put it: He had bad hands.

Hold that lion

Eagles rookie quarterback Carson Wentz bought each his offensive linemen a shotgun for Christmas. Luckily for them, Wentz doesn’t operate out of the wildcat formation.

Gut 1, gut 2 …

Alabama, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Arkansas and Mississippi are the least-healthiest states in the U.S., according to USA Today listings. Guess that’s the price you have to pay for top-notch college football.