Sanders didn’t waste time with test

Test? Deion Sanders don’t need no stinking test.

The New York Giants got an early introduction to Neon Deion’s bravado at the 1989 NFL combine.

“They sat me down and gave me a thick book, thicker than a phone book,” Sanders told The Dallas Morning News. “I said, ‘What’s this?’

“They said, ‘This is our test that we give all the players.’

“I said, ‘Excuse me, what pick do you have in the draft?’ “They said, ‘Tenth.’ “I said, ‘I’ll be gone before then. I’ll see y’all later.’”

Sanders was selected fifth by the Atlanta Falcons.

Hockey quiz

The Washington Capitals beefed up for the playoffs by beaming aboard defenseman: A) Kevin Shatternkirk B) William Shatnerkirk

Broom service

Catlin Schneider, a member of Saskatchewan’s provincial curling champs, doubles as a receiver for the University of Regina football team.

Something tells us he ran a lot of curl patterns.

Talking the talk

■ IMG (Fla.) Academy football coach Kevin Wright, to Sports Illustrated, on trying to accommodate 6-foot-9, 396-pound neophyte Daniel Faalele of Australia: “We just had a kid from India who was 7-2. I know that bed is here someplace.”

■ Kneecapped figure skater Nancy Kerrigan, to the New York Post, on why she has no interest in seeing “I, Tonya,” the upcoming Tonya Harding biopic: “I already lived it.”

■ TBS’s Conan O’Brien, after research claiming that Americans are getting fatter and giving up on their diets: “The study was conducted by going to a water park for five minutes.”

Batter urp!

Food stands at the Royals’ spring-training ballpark in Surprise, Ariz., are selling a hot dog wrapped in bacon, which is then wrapped in a cheeseburger and called the Triple Play Dog.

What, was “Triple Bypass” already taken?

Our RPI is slipping

The United States fell from fourth to seventh in U.S. News & World Report’s latest annual ranking of the world’s best countries.

At this rate, we won’t even make the playoffs next year.

Raising the bar

Gold medalist Dick Fosbury, the inventor of high jumping’s “Fosbury Flop,” became a septuagenarian March 6.

In other words, clearing 7-0 just took on a whole new meaning.

Here’s the beef

Michigan football’s latest recruiting haul includes nine linemen ranging in weight from 278 to 335 pounds.

Bo Schembechler once wanted “a Michigan man.” Jim Harbaugh, it seems, prefers Michelin.

Headlines

■ At SportsPickle.com: “ESPN fires Joe Lunardi after discovering he has been practicing bracketology without a license.”

■ Brad Rock of Salt Lake City’s Deseret News, after ex-slugger Sammy Sosa, in a blog post, denied steroid use, compared his travails to Jesus and claimed he introduced Chicago to the world: “‘Do tell,’ said Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, Stan Mikita, Walter Payton, Ernie Banks, Benny Goodman.”