Something was funny about his money

Police in Spokane arrested Treshon Broughton after the ex-Washington State cornerback allegedly tried to buy a cigarette lighter with fake currency.

An alert store clerk said coach Mike Leach’s face on a $20 bill was a dead giveaway.

Headlines

■ At SportsPickle.com: “Middle East promises sustained peace after U.S. threatens to send Skip Bayless.”

■ At TheKicker.com: “LeBron demands front office acquire more scapegoats.”

Unfriendly skies

Wouldn’t you like to be a fly on the cabin wall when United Airlines discovers that its flight full of MMA fighters is overbooked?

Hockey-puck alert

Just wondering: Why isn’t there a moment of silence at NHL playoff games in honor on Don Rickles?

Lots of ice, please

A playoff hockey game in Norway went eight overtimes.

“Amateurs,” said the Yankees and Red Sox in unison.

Talking the talk

■ Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., after Cubs players were awarded their first World Series rings in 108 years: “The team has been waiting for a ring longer than Oprah.”

■ Times reader Larry Maloney, on Washington women’s basketball star Kelsey Plum going 9 for 9 in winning major postseason awards: “What does she think she’s doing, shooting free throws?”

■ At SportsPickle.com: “United announces plans to add trained NHL enforcers to all domestic flights.”

Maim that tune

If pro golfers ever make like baseball players and approach the first tee accompanied by walk-up music, here’s guessing that “Stairway to Heaven” won’t be Dustin Johnson’s song.

Excuse of the Week

The lawyer for Kirk Merritt is blaming the Texas A&M receiver’s 2016 arrest for allegedly exposing himself to two female tutors on “a bad case of jock itch.”

Tweet of the Week

Brogan Probert, son of late Red Wings enforcer Bob, on his mother’s unusual tribute in Detroit: “Mom spreading dad’s ashes in the penalty box at The Joe. Can’t think of a better place for him. So much love.”

Sports quiz

Tiger Woods won’t return to the PGA Tour until:

A) his balky back stops acting up.

B) he can get in as many practice rounds as President Trump.

Natural reaction

A Marlins-Braves game was delayed 30 minutes when a bank of lights went out.

Conspiracy theorists suspect Tim Tebow hit it with a tape-measure drive while taking BP with his new bat, Wonder Boy.

Quote marks

■ Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, after a dog in Calgary set a world record by popping 100 balloons in just over 36 seconds: “I’ve grown so cynical, my first reaction was, ‘Are the PED test results back?’”