IS YOUR DAUGHTER OK? CHECK AGAIN.

“Dad I’m ok.”That’s what Alex said to me Tuesday afternoon. Alex has been suffering from social anxiety and general depression since receiving a concussion last fall playing soccer, but we felt things were moving in the right direction. Recently she had fallen in love with a longtime friend and there was more of the old Alex happy face around. Suicide had been something that Alex said she considered in the past and we took that very seriously, but she was telling her therapist and us she was past that now and we were believing her.

There was a pounding on the front door and it took me a moment to wake up. When I got down to the door there was a police officer there and he asked if I had a 16-year-old daughter and that I needed to check on her. In her last waking moments Alex called her boyfriend then fell asleep while talking and he knew something was wrong. Alex wasn’t breathing and had no pulse when we found her, and my wife and I immediately started CPR. The paramedics arrived only a few minutes later and started doing their thing to save her. They quickly got her out the door and we were off to the Emory Emergency room – Thank God, because we knew this was the best place to be for and emergency.

For almost two hours they had tried to get her back, but her heart would beat for a while then stop again. They tried tirelessly with heart compressions and as soon as one person was tired another stepped up to continue. Over and Over they tried. We knew it wasn’t working, but they continued. They were all at a point of exhaustion when they gave it one more go.

They let us sit with Alex for a long while afterward and we held her hand and kissed her checks (sic) until it was time to go. We went home and were surrounded by all our friends and family with more arriving every hour. Everyone tries to say some words to help but really just their presence is all we need because there is nothing to say. The last entry into her diary said “I’m just tired.”

1. If love could not save her what could? In my heart I think Alex made one bad decision on one bad day. One impulsive decision that couldn’t be taken back. Depression is generally curable. It just takes time and persistence.

2. Sports concussions on children are worse than we believe. We need to add more head protection in all sports and probably restrict Headers in Youth Soccer. Girls are 4 times more likely to return to a game than boys after a head trauma. US Soccer says head protection is not needed for Youth.

3. Girls can be very mean to each other. We can’t just talk about bullies; we parents must ensure that Our kid shares warmth not hate to those they don’t like.

4. “13 Reasons Why” (a movie) is great if you are not contemplating ending your life. For those in danger it glorifies suicide and makes it seem not so hard to do. If you are the editor or producer of this movie reach out to me.

5. Don’t believe it when your daughter says I’m ok. Check on her often if she is a risk. Share how important it is to just hang in there and get past the teens. Get her in therapy.

6. Stop stressing your daughters about school and grades. Just stop.

7. With depression you are closer to the edge than you know. One bad day could be enough with an impulsive teen.

8. Watch nutrition and get her exercise.

9. Share this with parents, coaches and therapist you may know.

Alex’s last words were to her boyfriend: “it’s going to be ok.”

Alex received two concussions playing soccer and began having social anxiety and mild depression. After fighting the depression for months she took her own life. US Soccer says head protection is not needed for Youth.

In lieu of flowers please consider donating to this scholarship in Alex’s name.