WEDDING SEASON

Get advice on decorating, crafts, food, entertaining and weddings from Martha Stewart, the world’s foremost lifestyle expert. This week, learn how to coordinate your wedding registry, choose the right venue and more,

Q: We’re registering at multiple stores, and I’m worried some of the items may not match once they’re under one roof. How can I plan ahead? — Alex, via email

A: Begin by narrowing down your aesthetic. “Many registry sites — like Zola, Amazon and MyRegistry.com — offer curated galleries to help you put things together,” says Naomi deManana, style director of Martha Stewart Weddings. And before you shop, crystallize what you need.

“Going without a list may result in a blend of odds and ends, like mismatched linens,” says Lee Mayer, co-founder and CEO of online interior-design service Havenly. “Instead, break down the rooms you’d like to design, and list what you need.”

When shopping, look for common accents. For example, white china with varying gold details would work together. The same general idea applies to glassware, linen and even cookware.

Q: We found our dream venue. What should we do before signing a contract? — Leah, via email

A: Great news! First, firm up exactly what you’re paying for. Shira Savada, the editor of real weddings, suggests you ask:

1. What’s included in the price: How many hours? Is there an on-site coordinator; are there lighting services?

2. Restrictions: Are there specific requirements for caterers or other vendors? Are there decor rules (no open flames, no wall installations), noise restrictions or end-time ordinances?

3. Capacity: Will your guests (plus the band or D J) fit comfortably?

4. Catering: Does the venue cater? Ask for price per head and minimums.

5. Other events: Multiple weddings could limit vendor access or divide resources.

6. Bad weather: What are backup options in case of rain or storms?

Q: I’m close with both my dad and stepfather. How do I handle the father-daughter dance? — Sarah, via email

A: Every situation is different. If your father and stepfather are on good terms, sharing a shorter dance with each of them to two different songs played consecutively is a nice way to give equal attention. “If back-to-back is not ideal, then split up the dances with the mother-son dance, or even have one before the first dinner course, one after,” suggests Lauren Fremont, owner of New York– and Paris-based Loli Events.

Should we or shouldn’t we write our own vows?

Your vows are some of the most meaningful words that will ever cross your lips. Here, couples talk about the statements that seal the deal:

We did

“We wanted our vows to be unique and reflect our personalities. After we got engaged, we each kept a running list of ideas of what to say, then put it all together a couple of weeks before the wedding. We love to laugh, so the biggest challenge was figuring out how to balance a joke with the significance of committing to our life together. On the big day, we were so confident in our decision. The stories and promises were so personal, and we were happy to share them in front of friends and family.” — Becca Wolf, married to Zac Wolf

We didn’t

“We had a lot on our plate already, since we were planning a destination wedding, so the thought of writing personal vows was just too much for us. Instead, we worked closely with our officiant to agree on the ceremony wording, which included traditional vows. I’m happy with our decision. We entered into a longestablished tradition, the institution of marriage, and it felt right to have time-honored words usher us in.” — Brette Allen, married to Patrick Mowrer

We used a mix of both

“The idea of baring my soul filled me with dread. Then I thought, This is my chance to dig deep — so we each wrote a ‘personal statement’ to read on the big day. At the same time, I love the gravitas that traditional vows bring, so I would have felt like something was missing if we hadn’t done those as well. The mix felt true to us, and it was a growth moment for me to share my deepest feelings and hopes in front of so many people.” — Cameron Hardesty, married to Michael Babyak

A planner says …

“If you’re writing your own, you’ll be speaking to your partner — but remember, there will likely be a crowd! Agree on length and any connecting factors, like a promise to each other. Couples who fear public speaking may be more comfortable repeating traditional vows: You won’t have to memorize, pull out written words or worry if the crowd can hear you. Traditional vows also work for those who want to repeat the words their parents and grandparents used.” — Jessica Rourke of Jessica Rourke Weddings, in Columbia, S.C.