SIDELINE CHATTER

0-1 on grass

Texas Wesleyan baseball coach Mike Jeffcoat nixed a recruit from Colorado because that state’s “liberal politicians” legalized marijuana use, so the school fired him.

Or as eye-for-an-eye advocates prefer to frame it, he weeded himself out.

Barbie on ice

Mattel, saying it wants to provide better role models to inspire young girls, is launching 17 new Barbie dolls, including aviator Amelia Earhart, gymnast Gabby Douglas and snowboarder Chole Kim.

What, no Tonya Harding action set complete with a lead-pipe Ken?

Traveling trophy

Frances McDormand’s Academy Award was stolen during an Oscars after party.

No truth to the rumor the perp was wearing a Tom Brady jersey.

Feud for thought

The free-spirited promotions staff for the St. Paul Saints independent league baseball team is considering a ballpark-wide food fight to commemorate the 40th anniversary of “Animal House,” the St. Paul Pioneer Press reported.

So what’s next, fans get free power-tool pedicures on “Dumb and Dumber” Night?

Talking the talk

Hall of Fame basketball coach Bob Knight, as quoted in The Indianapolis Star, on the sad state of the college game: “Coaches aren’t dealing with the NBA, they’re dealing with the FBI. Which is a little bit different than the NBA. I’m all for the FBI.”

Comedy writer Jerry Perisho, on the Oscars telecast: “Michael Strahan is to red-carpet interviews what Ryan Seacrest is to rushing the quarterback.”

Why, of course

From the Sometimes These Items Just Write Themselves file comes word a group of fired Cleveland Browns coaches — whose former team has gone 1-31 the past two seasons — met up during the NFL combine in Indianapolis at a place called the Rock Bottom Restaurant & Brewery.

Oscars headlines

At SportsPickle.com: “Kobe Bryant shoots 95 times to get one scene right in new movie.”

At TheKicker.com: “Opinion: Kobe’s film wouldn’t have beaten MJ’s ’96-98 animated shorts.”

Final Pitt stop

Pitt basketball coach Kevin Stallings got fired after the Panthers went 0-18 in ACC play this season.

Reactions ranged from rival coaches’ best wishes to a pick-me-up bouquet from the 2008 Detroit Lions.

Quote marks

Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., after Warriors coach Steve Kerr said undrafted college basketball players should be allowed to return to school: “Which is different than the 1960s, when students enrolled in school mainly to avoid being drafted.”

Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on the death of Roger Bannister, the first to run a mile in less than 4 minutes: “If anyone was sure to be in heaven before the devil knew he was dead ...”

Dan Murphy of ESPN. com, on what looks to be a wide-open NCAA Tournament: “This season’s Goliaths all have visible flaws, and the rest of the sport has been rife with slingshots.”

David Feherty of the Golf Channel, on his clumsiness: “I invented a new skating jump: the Triple Klutz. That’s when you fall down once and fall down twice more trying to get up.”