At ‘grief camp,’ kids bond over loss, s’mores

EQUINUNK, PA.— A summer-camp symphony of dribbling basketballs, screaming leaps into the spring-fed lake and bugled reveille floated into a pavilion where boys sat cross-legged in a circle, whispering to one another. Some wore white plastic masks, to hide the feelings their words conjured up. Some just stared at their shoes. One small, skinny boy took a deep breath, then spoke.

“Well, um, when my teachers and friends and family were all at my dad’s funeral, it felt really nice,” he said, pushing his glasses up on his nose. “They were all really nice and helped me, and that felt good.”

Some of the boys looked up and nodded. Others looked away.

“We see you,” they said in unison with counselors and volunteers, acknowledging his pain.

This is not your typical summer camp. For one week each year, Camp Equinunk for boys and the neighboring Camp Blue Ridge for girls, 145 miles north of Philadelphia, undergo a transformation, from 400 acres of fun to something with a more serious purpose, perceptible only if you lean and listen, or notice the tears that sometimes fall.

Experience Camps, a Connecticut-based nonprofit, runs these programs for children in fourth through 11th grades who have lost a family member or caregiver. There are locations in five states, and this year, approximately 800 youngsters were expected to attend, with 192 of them — mostly from Pennsylvania, New York and New Jersey — spending a week at Equinunk and Blue Ridge. The programs are free, funded by donations and sponsors.

Children are referred to Experience Camps through bereavement centers, school counselors, families and word of mouth. Nearly 80% of the campers are returnees. Often, siblings come together. Most of them, approximately 60%, have lost a loved one to illness, along with violence, suicide, accidents, and drug- and alcohol-related deaths.

This week away from home is often referred to simply as “grief camp,” but COO Lexie Radwan said there’s far more joy, s’mores and bonding than the term suggests. When the bus arrives, all 100 staffers and volunteers are there to cheer the kids on, to dispel whatever dread they’d been carrying with them.

“We really, really want them to know this is going to be a fun week,” she said. “I would say it’s 80% camp and 20% clinical.”

TIM TAI / THE PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER Camp counselor Matt Liebhaber carries a 12-year-old camper on his shoulders during the weeklong Experience Camp at Camps Equinunk and Blue Ridge in Equinunk, Pa.