6 TIPS ON BEING DIPLOMATIC IN LOCKDOWN

Like the rest of us, Capricia Penavic Marshall is figuring out how to navigate the awkward new world of social interactions as safely and graciously as possible as the coronavirus crisis moves through different phases.

But unlike most of us, Marshall has served several presidential administrations in positions that make her an expert in diplomacy and manners. She was deputy assistant to the president and White House social secretary to President Bill Clinton and first lady Hillary Clinton, and she was chief of protocol for President Barack Obama.

Marshall addressed some of the sticky life situations occurring today.

Q: What’s a polite way to ask someone to wear a mask?

A: If people are coming to your home or office, your rules rule. Let people know in advance that this is a mask-wearing environment and BYOM — bring your own mask.

Q: How do you respond to an invitation you think is risky?

A: If I do not feel comfortable going to an event, I would let the host know to please excuse me, but due to my personal situation, I need to be extra careful with my contact level and cannot attend.

Q: Can you ask to bring a plus-one to a small outdoor gathering?

A: People are only now starting to gather in small groups, ones, twos or threes. You should absolutely not ask to bring an extra person to any event these days.

Q: What if you see your friends being non-socially distant on social media? Should you comment on that?

A: If they are saying they are staying home and you see they went to a pool party on the Fourth of July with 40 people not wearing masks, how do you call them out? Use the straightforward approach: “I would normally have come to your house, but I noticed you were at a gathering attended by quite a lot of people and you were not wearing a mask. Maybe in 14 days we can consider getting together again.”

Q: How should you handle the tricky question of letting guests use the bathroom?

A: Decide what your policy is. If you are going to let them, tell them in advance: “I am happy you will be coming to my home. We wear masks here. And for use of the powder room, there are sanitizers and paper guest towels in the bathroom for you to use.” If your rules are that you don’t let anyone in your house to use the bathroom, make sure you tell them before they arrive.

Q: What can you say to a close friend who you think is taking on too much risk?

A: They may be acting out of a lack of knowledge as opposed to knowingly acting in a bad way. I’d let them know “these are the guidelines that everyone is abiding by.” Send them articles that are useful, saying “this is information I want to share with you.” If they are aware of the guidelines and are having large amounts of guests over, you should think through your friendship and determine if this is someone you want to socialize with. They are putting not only themselves but others at risk as well. We are all in this together.