Pulling a loved one out of the misinformation rabbit hole

Dear Miss Manners: My mom has succumbed to fake news. She frequently shares outlandish information with me that she is passing off as fact.

Sure enough, when I look it up, it is usually related to some sort of internet hoax or misinformation. I think she’s spending way too much time on social media, and I feel concerned for her.

How can I politely handle this? I have tried letting some pieces of “data” pass by, and actually challenging only a fraction of the claims she makes, or by selecting only the most serious or concerning (e.g., those related to inaccurate reasons not to get the coronavirus vaccine).

In these instances, I will verbally note confusion about the statement she made, then send her a link to a reliable website that debunks the theory. But I also imagine that could get annoying for her. Any recommendations?

Gentle Reader: Goodnaturedly strike a deal: “I’ll stop sending you corrections when you stop sending me inaccuracies.”

Dear Miss Manners:

A cousin’s child was married this weekend. It was delayed because of the pandemic. I am over 65, but this wedding was very important to me, so I attended.

I had to drive 800 miles each way. The lodging was expensive. I gave them a nice present. I had visited his family regularly, and they visited me frequently, so I wasn’t just a random guest.

At the rehearsal dinner, I was sitting with three of his mother’s siblings who had traveled as far as I had. He and his intended visited with every table but spent only about five minutes with us before they were off.

The wedding was lovely, but because of the virus, there was no receiving line.

The wedding party was outside getting pictures taken till dinner was ready and the groom’s father went out and told them that was enough pictures.

Throughout the evening, the bride and groom visited tables and people, but never came near us. I never felt comfortable crashing their visit with other tables with people I didn’t know.

I feel so sad that the feelings I have always had for him weren’t reciprocated.

I had always been told that the bride and groom should visit every table. I just felt ignored and not worth their time. Am I wrong to expect more than five minutes out of his time?

Gentle Reader: Yes, this was bad form. But Miss Manners would not balance the history of this relationship on this one event.

No doubt, since the couple came to see you during the rehearsal dinner, they crossed you off the list as successfully visited.

You are correct, however, that ignoring one’s guests for a lengthy photo opportunity is rude. That is where they could have spared some time — and in the absence of which, you may bear resentment.

For the sake of family harmony, Miss Manners will permit you to do so for the same amount of time that they were gone — before you then forgive them and move on.