How to write a gratitude letter

If you are looking to make someone — even yourself — feel better during what has been a hard winter of the pandemic, consider writing a gratitude letter. You can think of it as a slightly longer and more meaningful thank-you note, but instead of offering thanks for a physical gift, you are offering thanks for something that was done or said.

There are two excellent reasons for writing a gratitude letter: It will make you feel really good, and it will make the recipient feel great.

Here’s how to start:

Determine the recipient

The first step is to decide whom to write to — perhaps a career mentor, a supportive family member or a dear friend.

Nancy Davis Kho, who in 2019 published “The Thank-You Project,” a book about her year writing 50 gratitude letters, offers this exercise: “Quickly, think of the five people you want to hug first after quarantine.” Then write their names down, she said, because “even carrying around that list is a reminder that you are not by yourself.”

Gather your supplies

Decide your letter-writing method and get your supplies, such as stationery or notecards.

Handwritten letters are the gold standard because your handwriting is an extension of you. It’s personal and tactile. And don’t let messy penmanship be a deterrent: No one is expecting calligraphy. But there’s nothing wrong with typed letters.

Think about your recipient

Once you have decided to whom to write, think about that person and his or her role in your life. Think about how you met, what the recipient has done for you at what cost, what the person said that you have never forgotten or ways you have applied his or her advice in your life. Jot down a few bullet points or even a short outline if you would like, but do not overthink or get caught up on planning.

Sit down and write

If it makes you more comfortable, you can start the letter by detailing a reason for reaching out. Or you can keep your letter-writing reasons to yourself and just start with “thank you.”

Think back to your brainstorm, and, using evocative details, tell the person why you are grateful. That could be the exact words you remember this person saying and where you were when they were said. Add how it made you feel — then and now. Don’t hold back. It takes a little bravery, but writing sincerely and from the heart turns a polite note into a meaningful memento.

Write in your style

Don’t worry about crafting each sentence just so. You’re trying to get to the meaning behind the words. If you can, try to write the way you speak. Imagine the person is on the phone: What would you say?

Finish strong

End with gratitude and a compliment. What does this favor or event say about the person? Is it indicative of her or his generosity or kindness?

Keep copies

Just as your recipient might keep the letter, so can you. Snap a picture or scan the letter before sending.

ZOLTAN ZEMPLENI/FOTOLIA