Hasidic mother of 10 defies long odds, becomes doctor

Becoming a doctor seemed like an impossible goal for Alexandra Friedman, a Hasidic woman in Monsey, New York, a predominantly Orthodox Jewish enclave some 30 minutes north of the city that is home to some of the strictest Orthodox communities.

Many women marry young, and their lives revolve around caring for children, speaking Yiddish and abiding by inflexible lifestyle and dress guidelines.

Friedman and her husband, Yosef, have 10 children ages 8 months to 21 years.

Last month, Friedman graduated medical school and obtained a residency in pediatrics, making her one of the few female Hasidic doctors in the country, said Dr. Miriam A. Knoll, president of the Jewish Orthodox Women’s Medical Association.

“It’s unusual for medical students to have any children, let alone 10 children,” Knoll said; such an accomplishment “takes extraordinary drive and commitment.”

Friedman believed that pursuing medicine would augment her spirituality, not detract from it.

“In Judaism, there’s a belief that if you don’t use the gifts given to you by God, you’re not really honoring God,” she said in a recent interview.

Even while struggling with the arduous academic demands over the past four years, she met the domestic responsibilities expected of an ultra-orthodox mother. She refrained from studying on Jewish holidays and on the Sabbath. None of her obligations seemed to hurt her grades or keep her from graduating on time within four years, and she even gave birth to three children in the meantime.

She graduated first academically of the 135 students in her class at Touro College of Osteopathic Medicine in Middletown, New York.

Friedman already had a bachelor’s degree in biology. In her 20s, she began medical school but dropped out and developed an interest in Orthodox Judaism. In 2008, after she had moved to Brooklyn to study at a Hasidic seminary, she met Yosef Friedman, a widower with two daughters from his previous marriage. They married and eventually settled in Monsey.

After having several children, she starting thinking about her

medical education. She asked her religious mentor, Rabbi Aharon Kohn, for guidance. Kohn recounted a story about how his grandfather, also a rabbi, once urged a woman to become a midwife to help other Hasidic women. Kohn told Friedman he wanted her “to be of service to my community,” she said.

Yosef Friedman, 50, who makes minimum wage as an aide for patients with disabilities, said the family has lived paycheck to paycheck to afford medical school and relied on various scholarships. Student loan money sometimes helped pay the rent.

“Every obstacle seems to get blown out of the way,” said Friedman, who received a dean’s award from Touro for being a supportive spouse. “This is what she’s meant to do.”

SARA NAOMI LEWKOWICZ/ NEW YORK TIMES Alexandra Friedman poses with nine of her 10 children this month in Monsey, New York. She navigated strict cultural norms to become one of the few Hasidic female doctors in the country, obtaining a residency in pediatrics. She did not want the children’s faces shown for privacy reasons.