The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Shepherd Center moms form bond
Friendship helps deal with trauma of sons’ paralyzing accidents.
They were strangers just weeks ago, but now Jennifer Stanford and Kristen O’brien are dear friends, bonded by trauma. Their homes are hundreds of miles apart, but, for now, they reside in the same place: Shepherd Center in Atlanta.
Both women saw their nightmares realized recently when their sons, their firstborns, were in horrific accidents, leaving them paralyzed.
It was 2 a.m. on Aug. 7 when Kristen and her husband Tim received a call at their Lexington, Ky., home. Their 21-year-old son Britt, who had traveled to Atlanta with friends, mistakenly dove into the shallow end of a pool and broke his neck. Desperate to get to their boy, who had been airlifted to Grady Memorial Hospital, the terrified parents chose to travel separately for fear of traffic jams and flight delays. Tim drove to Atlanta while Kristen flew.
“I arrived first to find Britt alert, smiling as always, seeming as though nothing was wrong — except he couldn’t move,” said Kristen.
Britt played lacrosse at Centre College back home in Kentucky. He’s 6 feet 3 inches tall with a big personality to match. Doctors told Britt’s parents that his summer of intense workouts may very well have saved him.
“He nearly drowned in his accident, and he developed pneumonia after,” said Kristen. “He broke his C5 vertebrae. The prognosis in the ER was bleak. They gave Britt a 3 to 7 percent chance of moving anything beneath his shoulders again.”
After a surgery and weeklong stay at Grady, Britt was transferred to Shepherd.
Two weeks after Britt’s accident, on Aug. 21 in Chapin, S.C., Julian Stanford, 17, headed home after his shift at Higher Ground, a restaurant where he has worked for over a year. It is the perfect gig for a boy like him, who loves meeting new people and is known for his kind disposition. His mom, Jennifer, was tracking Julian’s drive on her phone via the Life360 app when suddenly, just a mile from home, Julian’s car stopped. She gave the app a chance to refresh, then tried Julian on his cellphone. When he didn’t answer, she grabbed her keys. She opened the garage door and heard sirens. She knew.
“I arrived at the same time as the ambulance,” said Jennifer.
“The fire and police departments were already there. I ran to a lady, a police officer, and saw Julian’s car in the ditch. I begged the lady to let me go to him. I told her I’m a nurse, told her maybe I could help. She wouldn’t let me. I held on to her and cried uncontrollably. I was in my pajamas and rain was pouring down.”
It took an hour to remove Julian from his vehicle. He was conscious the entire time. The EMT’S allowed Jennifer to ride in the ambulance with him. Julian was alert and talking, but unable to move. The doctors shook their heads after his MRI and CT scan, telling Jennifer and husband Chris that Julian’s is what they call a complete injury at the C4 and C5 vertebrae. They said he will never walk again.
Julian had immediate surgery at Prisma Health Richland Hospital in Columbia, S.C., to repair his vertebrae and relieve compression. He was transferred to Shepherd 10 days later.
By this time, Britt had been moved from Room 403 in the ICU to a regular room down the hall.
“One of Britt’s doctors, Dr. Elmers, came into our room one afternoon and asked if I could return to Room 403 when I had time,” said Kristen. “She said there was a mom there who was struggling. She asked if I would give her a hug.”
Kristen took the familiar steps down the long, quiet hall and found Jennifer in Room 403. Within minutes, their eyes were glassy with tears, their arms wrapped around each other.
“That was it,” said Kristen. “We had an immediate connection. Just like that we had someone who knew exactly what we were going through and understood the severity of the situation.”
Though family and friends of both Britt and Julian have been supportive, this, the mothers say, has been a lonely, isolating experience.
They both have husbands and other children at home, states away. COVID-19 restrictions allow for just one parent to stay with each patient. Leaving the hospital is not permitted for the parents, except for special circumstances. They sleep in the room with their boys and guests are only permitted outside at a gate that runs along a noisy stretch of Peachtree Road.