Sister uses petty grievances to separate herself from family

Dear Abby: I have two younger sisters: “Mara” and “Talia.” We grew up very close, thick as thieves. However,

as adults, my relationship with Mara has gone from strained to nonexistent, especially as I’ve grown closer to my youngest sister, Talia.

Mara gave birth to her first child five years ago, and since then, she has cut everyone out of her life, including our heartbroken parents. I was able to stay in contact with her, but she would accuse me of not wanting to see her because I couldn’t make time in my schedule to see her kids. (I am a full-time student and have a full-time job.) Bear in mind that Mara has made no effort to meet my schedule, either.

She finally cut all ties with me after Talia and I got matching tattoos centered around video games — a subject Mara has no interest in. She was upset that we didn’t invite her to get one too, but we didn’t think she would want a permanent inking of something she had shown distaste for in the past. We invited her to get sister tattoos when she said she was hurt. She said she didn’t have time because of her kids and hasn’t spoken to me since.

I feel like nothing I do will make her happy. Am I better off not having her in my life? Or should I try to make amends? — Sister Stress in Utah

Dear Sister Stress: You have done nothing for which to make amends. It appears you have one high-maintenance sister who looks for grievances and hangs on to them as though they are precious treasures. I suspect you are correct in thinking nothing you do will make her happy, at least at this point, and — since you asked — you may be better off without her making you miserable. I am sorry for your parents and for you and Talia, but sometimes it’s better to let sleeping dogs lie.