Don’t spit in the kitchen sink

Dear Miss Manners:

I often do the evening kitchen clearing and dishwashing for our household, and I do a thorough job. While working at the sink, I often wish to spit into the drain, but hesitate, wondering if it is appropriate. When I do spit, I am careful and it goes directly into the drain, so it doesn’t contaminate the sink at all.

I’m uncomfortable, though. Could you please comment on the etiquette of this action?

Gentle Reader: Human saliva and kitchen cleaning should never meet, especially at the same sink — however undetectable you think it may be. (And it is only a matter of time before you are caught and never trusted to do the dishes again.) Miss Manners suggests that you continue rightfully hesitating until you are safely in the bathroom — behind firmly closed and locked doors and with the water running loudly.

Dear Miss Manners:

Once a solitary diner has been seated and served, does etiquette allow said diner to put on headphones?

Suffering from severe tinnitus makes background music, the conversations of nearby diners and the general hubbub of restaurants nearly unbearable at times. Discreetly inserting earplugs is my usual course of action, but noise-canceling headphones would be my preference. What does Miss Manners have to say on the subject?

Gentle Reader: She hesitates to say, since you probably will not hear the answer.

This would be the argument against your plan, as it will become increasingly frustrating for the waitstaff to ask how your food is.

On second thought, Miss Manners suddenly sees the benefit. All right. As long as you promise to take off the headphones when you ask for the pepper or the check, she will allow you to wear them — if it is done discreetly and without repeatedly and loudly saying “What?”