Sibling still hounded by insecurity and jealousy

I feel like they are keeping things from me. How do I move past my insecurities and jealousy? My sister says I’m being childish. I was always in the twins’ shadow. How do I move past that?

Dear Abby: My parents divorced when I was 4. I’ve had a problem with insecurity and jealousy for as long as I can remember. I have two older sisters who are twins and a halfbrother my stepmom and dad had when I was 18.

My sisters were always the popular and favored kids because they were twins. My grandparents took them to twin contests and constantly bragged about their talents. I was born legally blind. I can see, just not well. I had learning disabilities and have always been overweight.

I was bullied at school and had few friends. My sisters were popular and were the talk of the school. I do have some close friends I’ve had since childhood, especially my best friend, who I’ve known since kindergarten.

Our friendship has lasted through my best and worst times. My family considers him a part of our family.

One of my sisters is always talking to him. She even went to visit him without letting me know. I feel like whenever we are all together, I get ignored. I don’t doubt our friendship, but I can’t help but feel left out when it comes to my sister. She used to lie to me about going out to lunch and visiting him out of state.

I feel like they are keeping things from me.

How do I move past my insecurities and jealousy? My sister says I’m being childish. I was always in the twins’ shadow. How do I move past that? — Left Out in Wisconsin

Dear Left Out: I sympathize with what you went through, but you are no longer a child. It is time to quit competing with this sister. She should not have been sneaking around with your best friend, and he shouldn’t have abetted her. That said, as insecure as a person may feel, they don’t have the right to dictate to others who they may or may not see — all that does is generate resentment.

You might have less anxiety if you interact less with the twins and focus on your own separate relationships. Figure out what interests bring you pleasure and involve yourself in activities with like-minded people.