When facing flaws and shortcomings, handle with care

How do you respond to flaws and shortcomings? Yours and others’? Some people really struggle when these present themselves, whether it’s at home with family members, in the workplace or with friends. It’s often almost as if they take it personally when someone doesn’t measure up to their expectations or makes a mistake.

This relational dynamic is damaging for both parties. Both people are suffering. It doesn’t feel good to be a “prickly pear,” always finding fault and criticizing others. It’s also detrimental to health.

Simultaneously it doesn’t feel good to be on the receiving end of having your missteps pointed out and being berated. Feedback can be important and valuable in this life. That’s how you grow and get better. However, some people are not engaging this process from a place of awareness, care and integrity. If you decide it’s pertinent to give someone negative feedback, check in with yourself with radical honesty about your agenda and motive. If you do decide to proceed, check in with your word selection, tone and non-verbals. If you find yourself on the receiving end of continual critical feedback, it may be prudent to have a candid conversation with the person who is delivering these messages. Speak up for yourself. Also, be curious. Ask questions about their content and approach. Let them know the impact it’s having, and be clear with yourself and them about what you need moving forward.

Unfortunately, we often witness peoabout ple being too hard on themselves their perceived flaws and shortcomremember, ings. Humans are messy. that you (and everyone else) are both a masterpiece and a work in prog“everyress. Leonard Cohen said, thing has a crack in it. That’s how the light gets in.”

Having quirks makes people interesting and relatable. Being perfect is boring and overrated.

Give yourself and others full permission to be perfectly imperfect.