Controlling your anger can lead to healthier relationships

Being around someone who is hot-headed doesn’t feel good, does it? Maybe you know someone with a temper problem. Do you have what is commonly described as having a temper? A simple working definition of losing your temper might be “losing control physically or emotionally when feeling angry.”

Some examples may be shouting, throwing objects or storming out of a room. Many humans have lost their temper or their sense of control at some point. For some though, it is habitual and can happen quickly.

Those individuals may be known as having a hair-trigger response or knee-jerk reaction to events or people.

Temper describes a person’s ability to stay calm and to not act out anger. To lose your temper is to surrender your sense of calm and steadiness and to indulge in an outward, inappropriate display of behavior.

For those who fall victim to their emotions in this way, there may be guilt and remorse following their outbursts. For some though, they seem to be impervious to their own explosions and tend to justify their behavior. They don’t understand they are metaphorically a puppet on the string of someone else’s behavior or words.

For those who are in the presence of those who lose their temper, it can be frightening, intimidating and off-putting. A person losing their temper risks their close relationships. Often, it is a form of self-imposed sabotage.

Some people can recognize this pattern. They respond well to early interventions such as slowing down, breathing slowly and deeply, owning their behavior and practicing new responses.

They earnestly work on more skillful behavior for their own sake and those they impact.

Others who lose their patience don’t seem to be able to do it on their own.

They require more than a quick round of anger management classes. But if they are sincerely ready to change, it is a step in the right direction.