Avoiding asking questions is not best long-term answer

Have you ever been afraid to ask a question? Maybe you felt like you should already know the answer. Perhaps you felt like you would look foolish. There are other reasons people don’t ask questions. It can be they were taught not to question authority or other adults.

They could have also had bad experiences in the past when they asked questions. Sometimes, people will shame or reject you when you ask questions, especially if they don’t like to be questioned. There are some people that feel personally confronted when asked a question, which sometimes can be a feature of narcissistic personality disorder. If you have been engaging with narcissistic parents, partners or peers throughout your life, you may have decided its best just to avoid asking questions. This type of dynamic may have created conflict avoidance within you at all costs.

However, this is not fair to you. If you don’t understand something or disagree with something, you deserve to ask questions.

What are the best strategies to approach someone with a question?

First, ground yourself. You can do this through breath work and movement. Then you may choose to practice to gain confidence and courage. You can practice aloud or in writing.

Also, make sure the timing is appropriate. Your sense of urgency to have answers may not align with a time that works best for the other person. Finally, know that even when you do the best you can in the conversation, the other person may still react poorly. That’s not about you. Do your best and be proud of yourself for doing so. Then, release the outcome if it doesn’t go your way. Being in a relationship with a person who doesn’t allow questions in the dynamic is dysfunctional at best and toxic at worst. Choose your relationships wisely as a part of your self-care and self-respect.